Secrets of the Past
by Cassy27
Summary: When Neal's father suddenly shows up, Neal is forced to deal with some demons of his past. Can Peter help him or will Neal turn everyone he knows away? No slash. R&R  spoilers for season 1
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: When Neal's father suddenly shows up, Neal is forced to deal with some demons of his past. Can Peter help him or will Neal turn everyone he knows away?**

**AN: (Any and all mistakes are completely my own)This is my very first White Collar fic and I don't know what got into me! I'm not even sure how long this fic will be or where this will all go... I just know that I want to enjoy writing this and I hope you guys will enjoy it as well.**

**Rated T just to make sure, really.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 1**

Peter Burke had been an FBI agent ever since he finished College and he had dealt with a lot of cases. He had seen many things during his line of work and he considered himself to be a strong and confident man. Nothing could stand in his way and he took everything head on, back straightened. Of course, not everything worked out as he wanted it to, but he dealt with the consequences and he always did what he considered was best.

This, he somehow couldn't deal with. He had not once considered that Neal might actually have a family. Peter had never asked too many personal questions and Neal never talked to him about it. Their professional relationship worked and that was all that mattered.

Here he sat, though, looking into the eyes of a man that looked nothing like Neal. He had dark brown eyes and blond short hair. He was dressed in a casual blue jeans and a brown shirt with a black coat. Not in a hundred years would Peter have guessed that this was the father of Caffrey.

"Your son should be in any minute now," Peter said, needing to break the silence that hung in his office for minutes already.

"I still can't believe he is actually helping the FBI," William Caffrey said, nervously picking at the edges of his hat that he held in his hands.

"He's doing a wonderful job," Peter smiled, "your son is quiet the interesting case."

"You're the one that caught him, right?" There was only curiosity in William's voice and Peter knew better than to take pride for that particular arrest. This was Neal's father after all.

"Yes," he answered, trying not to smile, "it took me quiet some time, though."

"I heard," William simply commented.

Again, silence.

"Is there any other family?" Peter asked. He really hated the silence and he simply wanted their conversation to keep going. Folding his hands on his desk, Peter looked William Caffrey straight in the eyes, his gaze kind.

"Neal's mother passed when he was still a young boy," William explained, "I tried to raise him my best, but I guess that failed."

"He's a good man," Peter quickly said, "really, I believe that. Otherwise I wouldn't be working with him after all."

"How is he?" William suddenly asked. He put down his hat on Peter's desk as he patiently waited on an answer and the FBI agent could see that Neal's father truly was worried about his son.

"Good," Peter answered, "he's good. He doesn't always like the situation he's in, but it beats being in prison."

"Is he still with Kate?" William asked. It was obvious that William didn't know much about his son, but he knew how important Kate was in his son's life.

"No," Peter sighed. He shouldn't be the one telling him all this, Neal should be that person, but he couldn't let William meet with his son again, not knowing what was going on in his life. "Kate died in an explosion," Peter remembered that day like it was yesterday, "Neal is handling it all in his own personal way."

"Like he always does," William said, his voice soft. "When his mother died, he was only three, but he was already a very smart boy. He made drawings and gave them to me so that I could give them to his mother. He was smart, but he refused to believe that Lillian, his mother, was truly gone."

"What happened to her?" Now it was Peter who just was curious. He had searched for personal information on Neal back when he was trying to catch him the first time, but nothing much had come up. He had known about William Caffrey, but there hadn't been a known address and so Peter had been forced to give that lead up.

"She killed herself," William said in a matter of fact way.

It made Peter swallow heavily. "I'm sorry to hear that," he simply said.

"Neal saw it happen, but I don't think he remembers anymore," William explained.

Peter only nodded his head. Perhaps he did prefer the silence because he found it hard to listen to his consultant's past. He had always imagined Neal being a young boy that was simply bored and stumbled into forgery. Now, he was getting the sense much more had happened in the young man's life than met the eye.

In the bullpen, Neal entered, a charming smile on his face like always, and Peter immediately caught sight of him.

"There he is," the FBI agent announced as he stood up. William immediately followed his example and got up as well. Peter opened the door of his office and signed Neal to come up to his office.

"He's coming," Peter smiled as he motioned for William to remain in the office. It seemed more appropriate that way. Peter knew Neal wouldn't like meeting with his father again in the middle of the bullpen for everyone to see. Peter didn't even know how Neal would react to his father's presence. If he had understood correctly, Neal hadn't even seen his father since he turned 20.

"What's up?" Neal asked as he entered. Only then did the consultant's eye fall on the third man in the office and immediately, Neal closed his mouth, too shocked to say another word. Peter could see Neal swallow heavily.

"Hello, son," William smiled. He had taken his hat back into his hands and Peter knew the older man simply wanted to keep his hands busy. Even now, he could see William's hands trembling as he was meeting with his son again.

"What are you doing here?" Neal asked, his voice cold.

Peter might have not anticipated a warm hug and a touching conversation, but he certainly had not thought Neal to appear so distant. He remained in the background, however, as he didn't want to disturb them. He really wanted to leave his office right now, but that didn't seem appropriate as well.

"I was just wondering how you are," William explained. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "It's good to see you again." William tried to smile again, but the corners of his mouth only twitched.

Neal shook his head. "The last time I saw you, you said you never wanted to see me again," he swallowed heavily, "why come back now?"

"It was incredibly stupid," William spoke slowly, stressing every word as he wanted Neal to listen to him, "I should never have turned you away."

"I learned how to stand on my own feet," Neal said, sounding rather proud of that fact.

"By deceit," William spoke, his voice hard suddenly. He immediately regretted his words, though, as he took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he said, "I should have been there for you, I should have helped you."

"You've never been there for me," Neal spoke slowly, "and now you're suddenly the father that wants to be part of his kid's life? What is really going on, Dad?"

"I want to make amends," William explained. He took a step closer towards his son as he looked him in the eyes. "You're my son, my only son, and I want to know you, I want to be part of your life."

"It's a little too late for that, don't you think?" Neal asked. He was still very distant and Peter couldn't even remember a time that he had seen Neal in such a state.

"Whatever happened in the past," William tried to reach out to Neal, but he only took a step away, "I am so very sorry."

"You were never there for me, Dad," Neal sighed, "not when Mom died, not when I was struggling to deal with it, not when Daniel..."

William's eyes widened, shock visible in them. That name obviously brought up memories for both of them and Peter tried to remember if the name rang any bells. It wasn't family, otherwise he would have found that connection back when he was searching for Neal. Perhaps he was a friend of the family? Peter made a note to himself to find out.

"I'm sorry," William repeated, "Neal, you have to understand-"

"No," Neal quickly said, "I don't have to. I needed your help and you turned me away. I won't forgive you for that, I won't!"

With those words, Neal left Peter's office, slamming the door shut behind him. Every agent on the floor looked up to see what all the noise was about, but Neal didn't care. Running down the stairs into the bullpen, he turned to look at Jones.

"Don't even think of tracking me ankle monitor," he snapped at him as he strode passed him. Reaching the elevator, he pushed the buttons until the doors finally opened. Only when Neal was alone inside the small space, he felt like he could breath again.

Not ever had he thought to see that man again and he certainly wasn't planning on seeing him once more.

Peter could only look at William, seeing nothing more than an old and defeated man.

"I'm sorry," was all that he could say.

"I can't blame him," William sighed as he placed his hat back on his head, "I did some stupid things when he was a child." He took his coat and was about to leave when Peter called his name.

"Mr Caffrey," Peter walked around his desk so that he stood almost directly before him, "Neal never talks about his past, I didn't even know about his mother."

"It's not his fault," William said, his voice still filled with sadness, "everyone would want to forget."

"Who is Daniel?" Peter hated it for being this insensitive, but he really didn't have any other choice. His consultant, his friend, had just ran away and Peter would find out how he could help him. To do so, he would need the truth.

William pressed his lips together, casting his gaze down at the floor. "Someone we all want to forget about."

"Mr Caffrey-"

"Thank you for seeing me," William interrupted Peter, "for giving me a chance to meet with Neal. It really means a lot to me."

"I just wish it had gone differently," Peter said sympathetic.

"Me too," William smiled sadly. Shaking the FBI agent's hand, he left and Peter could only wonder how on earth he would talk to Neal about this.

He certainly couldn't pretend like nothing had happened. Neal needed help and Peter would give it to him. If only he could find out who this Daniel was.

**AN: That was my the first White-Collar-chapter ever and I have no idea what you guys think about it! Let me know if you want to see this story continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**AN: Thank you to all those that reviewed my first chapter. I was glad to be reading so many responses. Like I said, this is my first story for White Collar, and I am glad to see that my characters aren't too OOC.**

**Enough talk, let the second chapter begin!**

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 2**

"So he actually took off?" Elizabeth wanted to know.

Peter nodded. He was having dinner with his wife and every time, he told himself that they would not end up talking about a certain con man. Every time, however, Neal was a subject of their discussions and Peter could do nothing about it.

"You should have seen him, El," he told her, "Neal looked almost like a broken man."

"Where is he now?" El frowned as concern filled her mind. She had always liked Neal and knowing that he was going through a difficult time; she just wanted to help him.

"After he stormed out of the FBI building, I had Jones track him down," Peter explained, "he's been walking around the park, wandering really. He's stayed within his two miles radius so I let him."

"You should have gone after him," El said, taking her glass of wine into her hand. "It sounds like he might have needed someone to talk to."

"No," Peter sighed, "I know Neal and he needs time right now. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"What else do you know about William?" she asked then, wanting to know. She took a sip of her wine. "It sounds like he really wanted to fix things with his son."

"I searched the FBI's database, but not much showed up," Peter explained, leaning back into his chair now, "he was married to Lillian Doyle, Neal's mother, but never remarried after she died. He worked in a factory for all of his life and now he's retired for a few years already. He sold his property and went on the road."

"On the road?" El asked, not understand.

"That's why I couldn't find him when I was looking for Neal the first time," Peter explained, "he's been traveling a lot it appears, but now he is back and he wants to make amends with his son."

"But Neal refuses to do so." El nodded as she spoke, understand now.

"A lot happened between the two of them," Peter sighed, more to himself than to his wife, "but when the name Daniel fell, it moved something and Neal couldn't handle it anymore."

"So who is Daniel?" El shifted her balance on her chair, looking her husband straight in the eyes.

Peter bit down on his lower lip. "I have no idea, but I am going to find out."

"Be careful, honey" El said, her voice soft, "this is Neal we're talking about and it all sounds very sensitive."

"I will be," Peter reassured her, smiling. He stood up from the table and walked towards his wife. After kissing her gently on the lips, he started to clean the table. His mind was never really there, though. He could only think of Neal and of what Daniel could mean to him.

-o-o-

Neal was standing on the balcony, staring into the distance as he let himself be consumed by all the noise around him. Cars, motorcycles, plains, the shouting of people. It was never quiet around here and for once, Neal was enjoying that. Even the sight was quiet spectacular as the sun was setting, throwing an orange glow over every object.

"Here you are," a sudden voice said. Mozzie walked up to Neal and went to stand next to him on balcony.

Neal hadn't even needed to turn around to know it had been his best friend to enter his apartment. Looking at him made Neal aware, though, that he knew. Mozzie knew about William.

"What is it?" the young con artist simply asked. A soft wind brushed by them and Neal closed his eyes slowly. He wanted to enjoy this warm weather for as long as possible. Autumn was already claiming many leaves, and Neal knew that this might be the last warm evening he would have for some time.

"I heard about William," Mozzie said, choosing his words carefully.

Neal turned to look at him, a sigh escaping his lips. "He's back," he simply said, "that's all."

"I heard he went to Peter in order to find you," Mozzie continued speaking.

"And who told you that?" Neal realized his voice almost sounded accusing, but he could see his friend didn't take it hard.

"Peter?" Mozzie asked. He wasn't sure if his answer would be a welcoming one.

Neal chuckled softly. Turning around, he headed back inside, pouring himself a large cup of coffee. "Want some?" he asked, but Mozzie shook his head. "Don't do this," Neal only said as he leaned back against the sink.

"Don't do what?" Mozzie wanted to know, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he stood in the doorway.

"You are going to start ask questions about my past and I won't answer them, you know I won't." Neal took a sip from his hot coffee. "I don't talk about it, I never will."

"I am one of the few that know about your past," Mozzie said, fully entering the apartment now, "and I can understand that you're shaken by your father's sudden reappearance. I'm just saying, I am here if you want to talk."

Neal knew this was not easy for Mozzie as well. He never was the sensitive guy that was always there for a talk, but Neal somehow couldn't appreciate it. "Thanks, Mozzie," he said, surprised by how cold his own voice sounded, "but I really am fine."

"Okay," Mozzie simply said, knowing that he really wasn't helping his friend, "can I take you up on that coffee now?"

Neal laughed, having decided not to let his mood bring down Mozzie's. Putting his own cup down, he took a clean one and poured it full with the delicious black substance. Handing it to his friend, Neal felt that he truly was alright. His father couldn't just barge into his life and ruin everything, Neal would simply not allow it.

-o-o-

As the young con man stepped out of the elevator, he found a lot of FBI agents already busy doing their job. It was as if nothing had happened yesterday and Neal enjoyed that thought. Glancing upwards, he found Peter behind his desk, focused on his computer.

"Good morning," he greeted Jones as the young agent walked by him. He still felt rather bad for having yelled at him yesterday. Perhaps he should apologize for it.

"Neal," Jones greeted him back.

"Jones," he quickly said, not allowing him to walk away now, "about yesterday, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, man," the young agent smiled, "everyone has those days."

Neal only nodded. He should have known really that Jones wouldn't feel offended. On the other hand, this might mean he knew about William, that he understood why Neal had been so shaken up. Would Peter really have told Jones about his personal problems?

Glancing upwards again, he saw Peter still focus on something on his computer screen. Peter was a lot of things, but he certainly wasn't the kind of man that would go around telling everyone about someone else's problems.

Neal ascended the stairs leading to the upper offices and knocked before entering Peter's office. The FBI agent immediately glanced up to meet Neal's gaze.

"Is everything okay?" the FBI agent asked in general.

"Yeah," Neal answered, smiling his usual warm smile, "I was just wondering if we have a new case."

Neal would do anything to take his mind off of his father. Some art forgery that needed his expertise might come in handy. He saw Peter shake his head however and Neal couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

"I'm just finishing up some paperwork today," Peter told him, "nothing exiting."

Neal only nodded before leaving behind his partner, not really sure what he was supposed to do now. Getting back to his own little desk, he sat down. His computer was already powered on and Neal felt his fingers itching to type in a certain name into the FBI's database.

Looking around, he noticed that no one was paying any particular attention to him. The young can man knew he wasn't allowed entrance into the database, but knowing Peter's password had some advantages.

Opening a search-screen, he typed in the name. _Daniel Hill_. A name he had been hating ever since he was a child, ever since he was thirteen years old. Pressing the enter-button, the search engine immediately started searching for any known cases or documents that involved that particular name, but Neal knew this was going to take some time.

He was patient, though, and he waited for the first result to come in.

-o-o-

Peter had seen Neal come up to his office and luckily for him, he had stayed calm as he had turned off the screen of his computer. The time wasn't right yet for Neal to know that Peter was digging a little deeper into his past.

Two knocks could be heard and Peter immediately glanced up as he saw Neal enter.

"Is everything okay?" He tried to sound casual and it seemed to be working.

"Yeah," Neal answered, "I was just wondering if we have a new case."

"I'm just finishing up some paperwork today," Peter lied to him and he felt awful for doing so. If Elizabeth would hear about this, she would not agree with his method. He had promised her, however, that he would talk to Neal about his father and he could hardly do that without knowing where the hard feelings were coming from. "Nothing exiting," he added.

Neal only nodded and for a moment, Peter could have sworn to see disappointment in his partner's eyes. It vanished almost immediately, though, and Neal left him alone.

Peter swallowed heavily. He had actually pulled it of; he had lied to Neal and he had gotten away with it.

Pushing the power-button of his screen again, Peter saw that his search had already given him a few results. He had cross reverenced every Daniel with William Caffrey and Neal Caffrey and only Daniel Hill had seemed to match. He wasn't sure what to expect of this man, but Peter knew there was no turning back. He was going to find out who this Daniel person was and he was not going to regret it.

The first thing Peter was certain of, was that this Daniel was not a saint. He had several DUI's, one case of domestic violence and a restraining-order against his ex-wife. He was currently doing a jail sentence of five years for beating a prostitute.

Peter took in a deep breath. He wasn't sure how this Daniel was involved with Neal's life, but he sure hadn't been making it any better. Looking down into the bullpen, he saw Neal focusing on the computer screen in front of him. He looked normal; casual and calm. Perhaps Neal had chosen to forget about Daniel and his father, because the young con man looked like he wasn't going through a difficult time at all.

-o-o-

Neal read every word carefully, not wanting to miss anything. He now knew Daniel was in jail for five years and that he would be released in one as he had already served four years. He had been a bastard his entire life, but it seemed a hooker had finally managed to get him behind bars.

Neal leaned back in his chair as a picture popped onto his screen. Daniel didn't look much different than he had back when Neal was thirteen. He still had thick brown hair and gray eyes. A tiny scar was visible on the man's right cheek and a smug grin covered his face. It didn't even seem like Daniel was aware of the trouble he was in.

Neal sighed as he clicked the picture away. He felt reassured, however, knowing that Daniel couldn't harm any other soul. He had destroyed a lot of lives and Neal felt one of the lucky to have ended up in a rather good place. Of course, that was after having been to jail and having ripped of people for a living.

Scrolling through the files, Neal suddenly caught eye of his father's name. It appeared William had testified against Daniel, wanting him behind bars, but the young con man still didn't feel any sympathy for his old man. William had called him a liar and a cheat all those years ago while he should have supported his son.

William wasn't anything better than Daniel.

Clicking all the files away, feeling anger rise up inside his chest, Neal stood up. He needed air, he needed to clear his mind. What gave William the right anyway to come busting back into his life? He was ruining everything, he was destroying all the confidence Neal had built around him.

This wasn't fair and Neal left the floor of the FBI building in a hurry, heading outside where he finally seemed to be able to breathe again. Perhaps he truly wasn't handling all of this very well.

-o-o-

Peter watched how Neal stood up rather violently. The FBI agent instantly got up as well, wanting to go talk to his partner, but before he was even out of his office, Neal had already left the floor, having disappeared into an elevator.

"Do you want me to track his ankle monitor?" Jones asked, having seen Neal leave as well.

Peter only shook his head as he descended the stairs. "It's okay, Jones, he's not running away," he told the young agent. He sat down in Neal's chair as he searched through Neal's computer, looking for anything that would have upset him like that.

Of course, the answer wasn't that hard. Soon, after having scanned through Neal's computer history, Peter was reading through the same files he had only been reading a moment ago in his own office. He cursed Neal for having used his password, but he almost immediately forgot about it.

This Daniel Hill was messing with Neal's head and Peter wanted to know why. The only way to do that, however, was to actually talk to Neal himself. Pulling out his phone, he dialed Mozzie's number. He had been given the number by Neal after he had promised the young con man to only use it in emergencies.

This was an emergency.

"Who's this?" Mozzie answered, suspicion dripping from his voice.

"It's Peter Burke," Peter scrolled down the files on Neal's computer casually, "I need your help."

"Can't Neal help you?" Mozzie asked, sounding a little astonished to hear an FBI agent ask for his help.

"This is about Neal," Peter said, annoyed. He didn't want to lose any time. "What do you know about Daniel Hill?"

Silence.

"Come one, Mozzie," Peter encouraged him to confide in him. He needed these answers and he knew that Mozzie knew that Peter might actually be able to help Neal.

"Listen, Suit," Mozzie finally spoke, "this really isn't any of our concern. William and his former friend Daniel are part of Neal's past and he wouldn't like having us sticking our nose into his business."

"Neal might be in trouble," Peter said, sounding diplomatic, "and we're not even helping him. Look, Mozzie," his voice softened, "he's our friend, right? We should be looking out for him."

Peter could hear Mozzie sighing, but he knew that he had reached through to him.

"Alright," Mozzie spoke, not feeling good about ratting out his friend, "I'll tell you what I know. I'll meet you at your house in fifteen minutes."

Peter heard the line disconnect and he could already imagine Mozzie throwing away his phone. Of course he would not use that phone anymore now that he knew an FBI agent had the number. Standing up from Neal's chair, he looked at Jones.

"Track Neal's ankle monitor," he ordered, "keep me updated on where he is and when he moves. If he goes out of his two miles radius, inform me immediately."

Jones only nodded and with that, Peter left the FBI building, heading home. Mozzie would be there and the agent would finally learn the truth about Neal's past. He wasn't sure, though, that would like any of what he was about to hear.

**AN: And here ends the second chapter. It is longer than my usual chapters, but I don't think that is a problem, is it? If you guys prefer shorter chapters, then just let me know.**

**Thanks for having read this :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**AN: Another chapter has arrived. Again, all mistakes are mine. English isn't my mother language, but I try to avoid as much errors as possible. Thanks to those that left me a review and I hope that this chapter will be liked as well. It's very long and not much happens, but I believe this chapter is necessary to build towards a better Neal and William-relationship. **

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 3**

Neal had found himself wandering around the city, not caring where he might end up. He simply wanted to clear his head, order his thoughts a bit while in the meantime, he let his feet decide where to take him. It all appeared to have been working for about a little over an hour, but suddenly, the young con man found himself standing in front of a large building.

He knew his father lived in an apartment on the 14th floor of that particular building, but Neal couldn't bring himself to even enter the lobby. Was he really ready to speak to his father? Yesterday, he had frozen up when seeing William stand in Peter's office, but today might be different. He would be prepared.

Taking in a deep breath, Neal entered the front floors of the building. It was more of an impulsive decision, really, but this was still his father. The least he could do was offer William a chance to explain himself, to let his son know why he was back all of a sudden because Neal knew there was another reason than just to say he was sorry.

He didn't know his own father well, that much the young con man knew, but he knew him well enough to know that there was more going on. Peter might not suspect, but Neal wouldn't let himself be fooled.

Walking directly to the elevator, he pushed the button and after a few seconds, the doors opened. A young blonde woman and young boy exited, both throwing Neal a big smile, but the young Caffrey found himself failing to return it.

He was going to see his father again; that didn't mean he was happy about it.

Inside the elevator, he pushed the button with the number 14 on it, the doors closing again and Neal felt that all too familiar feeling in his stomach as he started to move upwards. Only moments later, the elevator stopped again, its doors opening and Neal walked out. He could still turn back, he could still change his mind, but he refused to.

He had come this far, only a few more steps and he would stand in front of his father's apartment. Turning to his left, Neal started walking again until he found the door with the number 1409 on it. It didn't take him long to reach it, but he suddenly felt so heavy looking at that particular door. It seemed that moving his legs had become impossible; he couldn't run now. His arms were too heavy and he found himself not wanting to knock on the door.

He took in another deep breath to calm himself. What was he so afraid of? It wasn't like seeing his father would be the end of the world? No, Neal told himself, he would do this. Lifting his arm as he wanted to knock on the door, it suddenly swung open, revealing William to be standing in the small hallway, his coat on and his hat in his hand.

"Neal?" William seemed astonished to find his son standing there, but a smile covered his lips as he opened his door completely.

"I see you were just leaving," Neal quickly said, "I should go." The young con man cursed himself for being such a sissy. He was finally standing face to face with his father without anyone else present and the first thing he wanted to do, was run.

"No," William said, his smile disappearing. The thought of Neal leaving already seemed to be unsettling him. "Please, come in."

He could still turn around and walk away, but Neal pulled himself together and entered, passing his father as he took to every detail of the apartment.

He entered into a small living room, one couch standing in the middle and a TV hanging against the wall. There was only one low cabinet on which a few framed pictures stood. Neal immediately recognized his mother Lillian and he was surprised to find a picture of himself as a young child as well.

His gaze got drawn to the open kitchen then. It appeared quiet luxurious with a large refrigerator, a small cooking island and a long table standing against the wall that was painted in a soft blue. Two large windows allowed sunlight to enter and the whole environment felt warm and welcoming.

This was everything there first home had not been.

"You have no idea how glad I am to see you," William said, having closed the door again and placing his coat and hat over the edge of the coach. "Do you want something to drink?"

"No, thank you," Neal said. He had wanted to crack a smile to his father, but he was still too absorbed in all the details of this apartment.

"Do you like the place?" William asked. He sounded hesitant and Neal knew his father was having difficulties coming up with subjects to talk about as well. It all seemed a little forced, but Neal found that more than natural. They hadn't seen each other for years, after all.

"It's nice," was all Neal answered as he walked to the window in the living room. There was quiet a spectacular view, but nothing could beat June's house of course.

"It's small," William said, sitting down on the couch, "it's all I could afford, but I think it's a nice place as well."

Neal finally managed to smile as he turned to look at his father.

"You really don't want something to drink?" William asked again.

"No," Neal told him again, "I'm good."

"Well," William rose from his couch, "I'm going to get myself a glass of water."

Neal only nodded. It wasn't like his father to drink water, but then again, it had been years since they had spoken. Who knew what else had changed? Hearing his father cough in the kitchen, Neal glanced towards him, worried that something might be wrong, but William only smiled reassuringly when seeing his son watch him.

The old man quickly entered the living room again, still smiling as he held his glass of water firmly in his hands. Neal could still see how he was trembling, though. Perhaps William was as nervous as Neal felt about this meeting.

"I heard you've been traveling a lot," Neal said. He watched how his father sit down again, taking a sip from his glass, but Neal still felt like he couldn't sit down. He was too nervous for it and he wouldn't be able to keep his legs still.

"All over the world," William explained, "I've seen almost every country in Europe, I've been to China, Japan and India and I have visited large parts of southern America." He took another sip from his water. "It was really amazing."

"Sounds like you've had a great couple of years behind you," Neal commented. He crossed his arms in front of his chest as he didn't know what else he could do with them.

William nodded happily. His mood suddenly changed however as his smile disappeared. "Had I known you were in prison, I would have come back," he said.

"Why are you back now?" Neal took a step closer to where his father was sitting. The questions made William nervous, that much Neal could tell. He waited, however, and he wouldn't leave without a proper answer.

He had gone through life without answers for long enough. He had never cared about it, he had never cared about what his father was doing the passed couple of years, but everything had changed now. William was back and Neal deserved to know why.

"I got sick of all the different cities," William explained, "of always waking up in a different hotel room."

"You're lying," Neal immediately said. He had thought his father to be evasive about his question, but lying about it was something else entirely. What surprised Neal even more was how easy William had done it. There had been no hesitation at all in his voice.

"I just want to get to know my son," William answered, his voice soft. He looked Neal in the eyes as he spoke, stressing every word as he wanted him to know how important this was for him.

Again, it was hard for the young Caffrey to believe this. "That's it?" he asked, letting his hands fall next to his body, "nothing else?"

"You're my son," William spoke, his voice even softer than before, "and I don't even know you. I feel horrible about it because you are important to me. You're my only family."

Neal shook his head. Why was he finding it so hard to believe a word his father was telling him? There were trust issues between them, that had always been the case, but this was a whole new level of distrust.

"I wasn't important to you when I was only a child," Neal said, his voice harsh. He knew his words were hurtful, but he couldn't bring himself to care about it. This was how he felt, what he thought, and his father needed to know that.

"You were," William seemed shocked to hear Neal say those words. He stood up from the couch again, coughing under his breath before he took a gulp of water again. "You still are. Neal," he spoke slowly, "I was a stupid and ignorant man back then."

Neal sighed. Going with his hand through his hair, he considered every word of his father carefully. Could it really be that there was only one reason William was back? Did he really just want to mend their relationship?

"We were never happy," Neal finally told William, "not ever. It's no wonder really that we never worked out as a team."

"We were happy," William smiled a warm smile, "when I met your mother, she brightened my whole world. She was a powerful woman, Neal, you look a lot like her. And when she found out she was pregnant, she couldn't wait until you were born. Nothing could bring us down. We were happy because of you."

Neal closed his eyes for a moment. He had never heard his father speak about his mother like that. In all of his life, he had never heard William tell him one story about Lillian. Everything he knew about her, he knew because of other friends, because of pictures or stories his grandmother had told him back when she was still alive.

"You were happy _until_ I was born," Neal finally spoke. It had been a thought he'd had for near his entire life, but this was the first time he had shared it with someone. Neal opened his eyes again to see the shock in his father's eyes.

"No," William quickly said. He put down his glass of water on the low cabinet before taking another step closer to his son. "Don't ever think that you have something to do with the suicide of your mother. She was a strong woman, but sometimes...she forgot how to smile."

Neal had never really noticed it, but he shared almost nothing with his father. Not the same hair or same eyes. He truly was the mirror image of his mother. Only then did he realize it couldn't have been easy for William to be confronted by that every single day. Maybe that's one of the reasons why their relationship broke off.

"We were never a family after her death," Neal sighed. He wished he could still remember a time when Lillian had still been alive, but she had died when he had only been a little boy of three years old.

"I suppose not," William agreed. Turning around, he walked back to his couch and sat down again. This time, however, Neal followed him. He made sure there was still space between them, but sitting down made this all more comfortable. He needed to be sitting down for the next part.

"And then you became friends with Daniel," he said, his voice almost nothing more than a whisper.

William's eyes immediately widened, his face growing pale. Swallowing heavily, the old man cast his gaze down, appearing ashamed and broken. Neal didn't like seeing his father like this, but he needed him to understand, to know. Only then would they be able to work on their father-son-relationship.

"I will never forgive myself for it," he said, still not looking at Neal. "I'm sorry for everything that he did, for everything I didn't do. I wish I could all make it go away."

"But you can't," Neal said, surprised to find his own voice this soft. Perhaps he was starting to come to terms with all this. He didn't feel anger when thinking about Daniel and he didn't blame William for it anymore. What was the point anyway? He could clearly see his father was feeling guilty enough without Neal blaming him for everything.

"I know," William gazed up now, looking into Neal's blue eyes, "you're my son and I love you. I want to do anything to have you in my life again."

"You testified against him," Neal said. He swallowed heavily. "Why?"

"He deserved it," William explained, "for everything he has done. I still think he should have gotten more than five years."

Two loud knocks suddenly filled the room. Neither of them had been expecting it and so Neal quickly stood up, distancing himself from his father. He didn't even know why he was doing it. He watched William get up as well, walking to the door and opening it.

"Agent Burke," William sounded surprised as he immediately glanced at his son, "come in." He smiled as he let the FBI agent enter.

"Peter?" Neal asked. He couldn't think of any reason why he would come here as well. Only then did Neal think of it and he couldn't believe he had been stupid enough to have forgotten about that one small detail.

"You're out of your two-mile-radius," Peter explained. He found himself standing rather awkwardly between the two Caffreys. Glancing from William to Neal, he hoped he wasn't disturbing any touching father-son-moments.

"Is he in trouble?" William asked.

"No," Peter smiled, "I said you've been with me the whole time. Only Jones knows you're alone and he won't tell anyone. Just don't do it again."

Neal shook his head. "Thank you," he told the FBI agent. He wouldn't have believed it months ago, but Peter had become a good friend of him, someone that had his back and that he could trust. "We should go," he said as he looked at his father.

"Already?" William seemed disappointed to hear those words.

"It's for the best," Neal explained. He wanted to continue this conversation, but doing it right now could be a little too much. He was trying his best and he was rather proud of himself he had stayed this calm during their entire conversation, but he knew he shouldn't be pushing things.

"Maybe we can meet for lunch sometime," Neal suggested. He immediately saw his father's face light up, a smile playing around the corners of his lips.

"That sounds wonderful," William smiled.

"I'll call you," Neal said, walking towards Peter.

The FBI agent nodded his head towards the eldest Caffrey before stepping outside of the apartment and Neal quickly followed him, closing the door behind him carefully.

He had actually survived it, he had talked to his father and he had survived it. Perhaps they could still work on their relationship, perhaps one day in the future, Neal would be proud to have his father back.

**AN: I think the seeds have been planted, Neal is starting to understand his father better, he is starting to trust him again I think. If that will last is something for you guys to find out in the future chapters. **

**Thanks for having read this chapter and I will try and post the next one soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**AN: Another chapter has arrived. I hope it will be enjoyed!**

**Ultracape: Just to clear something: yes, I meant South America, the continent. I am not from the USA and I didn't know how to make it clear I was talking about the continent. I hope it didn't ruin the chapter or anything. Thanks for the review!**

**Read & Review please :)**

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 4**

Peter felt like he had never left his office more quickly. He needed to go home if only to be there when Mozzie would arrive. He hated leaving El alone with that little man. For some reason, he didn't quiet trust him with his wife.

El, of course, wouldn't mind. She had liked Neal immediately and the first time she had met Mozzie, she had told Peter she found him mysterious and interesting. Peter had not liked to hear that. Perhaps he just wanted to shield his wife from all the crime, but El had only laughed at that, telling him she had nothing to fear from Neal and Mozzie.

Arriving at his house, he found El in the kitchen and Mozzie not yet arrived. At least something was going well today.

"Home already?" El asked, surprised to find her husband standing before her.

"Mozzie is coming over," Peter explained, pulling of his coat, "he knows who Daniel is."

He would have thought El would be pleased with this news, but she only sighed. "You should have asked Neal for the truth, not his best friend."

"Like Neal would tell me anything about his past," Peter protested, placing his coat over the edge of a chair standing in front of him, "I need to know, El, if only not to say something stupid or inappropriate about it."

El took in a deep breath. She eyed her husband carefully and finally seemed to understand that he was only doing what was for the best. He did needed to know and like he had said earlier, Neal wasn't the sharing type.

"You're right," she told him.

A loud knock could be heard and Peter immediately walked to the front door, opening it and seeing Mozzie look at him with small eyes.

"You're not setting me up, right?" he asked, refusing to enter yet.

Peter rolled his eyes. "No," he said, trying to keep his voice under control, "I am not setting you up, Mozzie."

The con man still didn't make any motion to enter.

"Will you come in already?" Peter was starting to get annoyed and Mozzie quickly did what he told him to do.

"Alright," Mozzie quickly said, snorting silently, but loud enough for the FBI agent to hear him. "What are we friendly today."

"Hello, Mozzie," El greeted him, a big smile on her face.

Mozzie's face immediately brightened as well. "Mrs Suit," he smiled, "lovely to see you again."

"Please," she continued talking, "sit down."

As soon as all three of them were seated on the couch, Peter sitting next to his wife and Mozzie sitting in the one-persons-couch, a silence hung in the room that couldn't have been comfortable for anyone.

Peter cleared his throat, needing to break the silence. "So," he said, "what do you know about this Daniel person?"

Mozzie swallowed heavily. "Can I start by saying that I am not comfortable with any of this. I feel like I am betraying Neal and it is not a pleasant feeling."

"I know," Peter said, understanding the position Mozzie was in right. "It's important, however, that I know about Neal, about his father and about what happened with Daniel."

Mozzie nodded his head, shifting his gaze between Peter and Elizabeth. He still wasn't feeling comfortable, that much Peter could tell, but at least Mozzie now seemed to understand the position the FBI agent was in.

"You know how Lillian, Neal's mother, died when he was three," Mozzie started telling, his fingers didn't stop moving as he spoke, fiddling with the edge of his shirt, "she killed herself and it was hard on William. I don't know all the details and I never will, but I do know that Neal and William never were a family after that."

Peter swallowed heavily. This was Neal's past, these were his secrets he had been trying to protect his entire life and now Peter was going to hear them. It gave him an unsettling feeling and he reached for El's hand, feeling her warm touch assure him.

"After a few years, William befriended Daniel," Mozzie took in a deep breath, not sure that he wanted to continue speaking.

""It's okay, Mozzie," El smiled at him, encouraging him to keep talking, "you're doing the right thing here."

There was a short silence, but Mozzie started speaking again. "He wasn't the most honorable man, but he was kind and he helped William pick up his life again. Neal told me once that he came home from school and Daniel had baked him pancakes."

Peter wasn't sure what he thought about all this. He had imagined Daniel to be a horrible person, someone everyone despised at first sight. If what Mozzie was telling him was true, then Daniel seemed a decent man.

"What happened next?" Peter asked, wanting Mozzie to keep talking.

"When Neal was about thirteen years old," Mozzie swallowed heavily, "he came home from school to find Daniel there. He trusted him as he'd known him almost his entire life, but something had changed."

"What had changed?" It was El who spoke this time, her voice very soft. Peter could feel her grip on his hand tighten and he couldn't blame her. He was feeling his heart pound in his chest as he did not know what would come next.

"I'm not sure," Mozzie told her, "like I said, I don't know all the details. What I do know is that Neal trusted him and that Daniel betrayed that trust. He..." Again, hesitation, but Mozzie seemed determined to continue this time. "He abused him."

Peter felt a shock run through his entire body.

"At least, he tried to," Mozzie corrected himself, "Daniel didn't actually do anything, but Neal was terrified of course. He managed to get away from Daniel and when he saw his father, he told him everything that had happened."

"What did William do?" Peter asked. He hadn't found any record of this incident anywhere so he knew no one had gone to the police with this.

"That's why Neal has such a troubled relationship with his father," Mozzie explained. He leaned forward as he spoke his next few words, like he only wanted Peter and El to hear even though no one else was present. "He did nothing."

"Nothing?" El was astonished.

"He told Neal that lying was wrong and that he shouldn't accuse good men of doing anything so horrible." Mozzie sighed then, leaning back into the couch and pressing his lips together as if he couldn't believe he had actually told Peter and Elizabeth this.

"That's awful," El spoke, her voice soft.

"So Daniel tried to abuse Neal and William did nothing about it," Peter summed it up. He needed to hear Mozzie confirm this because it was a lot to take in.

"Exactly," Mozzie nodded his head as he spoke, "after that, Neal soon left home because William was still friends with Daniel and not much later, Neal started to forge art and became your number one on your to-catch-list."

Peter sighed. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with this information. His thoughts were immediately interrupted however, when his cell phone started ringing. Quickly getting it out of his pocket, he recognized Jones' number.

"Jones?" Peter asked. He knew that the younger agent wouldn't call him unless it was something important.

"It's Neal," Jones spoke, "he's out of his two-mile-radius."

"Damn it," Peter cursed. He immediately felt the eyes of both Mozzie and El on him, "do you have a location?"

Peter listened carefully to what Jones told him next and before he had even disconnected the call, Peter was up from the couch and getting his coat back on. He knew where Neal was and he knew he had to hurry to get there.

If only the young con man wouldn't do anything stupid.

-o-o-

Knocking on the door two times, Peter couldn't help but try to listen carefully hear what was being said inside the hotel room. There was only silence however and it was William who opened the door, looking worried to see the FBI agent standing before him.

"Agent Burke," William saw, immediately glancing at his son, "come in." He smiled as he let Peter enter.

"Peter?" Neal asked.

Peter could see the confusion in the young con man's eyes and so he quickly explained why he was there. "You're out of your two-mile-radius," he explained. He found himself standing rather awkwardly between the two Caffreys. Glancing from William to Neal, he hoped he wasn't disturbing any touching father-son-moments.

"Is he in trouble?" William asked.

"No," Peter smiled, "I said you've been with me the whole time. Only Jones knows you're alone and he won't tell anyone. Just don't do it again."

Neal shook his head. "Thank you," he told the FBI agent. "We should go," he said as he looked at his father now.

"Already?"

Peter could hear the disappointment in William's words.

"It's for the best," Neal explained. "Maybe we can meet for lunch sometime," he suggested.

Peter noticed William's face light up in a smile and he found himself smiling as well. Perhaps not everything was lost yet between father and son.

"That sounds wonderful," William smiled.

"I'll call you," Neal said, walking towards Peter.

The FBI agent nodded his head towards the eldest Caffrey as a goodbye before he stepped outside of the apartment and Neal quickly followed him, closing the door behind him carefully. He couldn't help but find himself looking at the young Caffrey, looking for any signs of distress, but he found nothing. Neal actually appeared happy.

-o-o-

As Peter was sitting in his office, he couldn't help but throwing glances at his younger partner. Neal hadn't spoken much after they had left William's apartment, but at least he hadn't appeared angry or disappointment.

A lot had been going on in the young con man's head, that much Peter knew as a silence had hung in the car all the way to the FBI building. Peter had wanted to say something, anything, but his mind had come up empty.

As he focused on his computer screen again, Peter decided to talk to Neal tonight. Knowing about his past made Peter more aware that Neal wasn't all charming smiles and cons. There were emotions in the young man's heart, there were thoughts and Peter knew he should be the good friend and talk to Neal about it.

It wouldn't be an easy talk, though. Peter sighed. There was not a chance on earth he would be able to pull this off alone. He would screw up, he would say something stupid and Neal would get mad. Thinking of his wife, Peter smiled. If there was anyone that could handle any delicate situation, it was El.

He pulled out his phone and pressed his speed-dial. Immediately, he heard the line connect and he tapped with his fingers on his desk as he waited for an all too familiar voice to answer.

"Hello, sweety," El greeted him.

Peter smiled even broader. Hearing El's voice always made his day a little brighter. "Hello, honey," he greeted her back. "I need to ask you something."

"Anything," El said, waiting on Peter to explain himself.

"It's about Neal," Peter started, knowing that El would immediately be listening to his every word. "he spoke to his father today."

"How did it go?"

Peter could hear El was worried and so he quickly started talking again. "I'm not sure, I wasn't there. Neal seems alright, like he's accepted that his father is back. I don't know if he's okay with the whole Daniel-part, though."

"Does he know you're aware?" El asked, her voice high.

"No," Peter sighed, "I want to talk to him about it, but I would like you to be there too."

"Sure," El said, "bring him home for dinner, I'll make pasta."

"I knew you'd understand," Peter smiled, "I love you, honey."

"I love you, too."

And with those words, the line was disconnected. Peter placed his cell phone on his desk and looked at Neal again who was still sitting at his little desk. He didn't seem occupied with anything special. Now was the perfect opportunity to invite him for dinner it seemed.

Getting up, he left his office, heading over to Neal. All that Peter could think about, was that the invitation could not seemed forced. Neal would know immediately if Peter was up to something.

As he walked passed Jones' desk, he suddenly heard the young agent call out his name.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Jones continued asking.

Peter rubbed his fingers over his forehead. He really should be talking to Neal right now, but Jones seemed worried for some reason.

"What is it?" Peter asked, deciding to listen first to what Jones had to say.

"It's about Neal," Jones said, throwing a quick glance to the young con man.

"Let's talk in my office." Peter turned around and walked to the upper floor again, knowing that Jones was only steps behind. He only wished Neal wasn't in any kind of trouble for having gone out of his two-miles-radius earlier today.

Closing the door carefully behind him, Jones turned to look at his boss. "I looked around for any information on William Caffrey like you asked me to," he held out a file with a big FBI logo on it, "I found this."

Peter took the file, flipping it open and examining the information that was in it. "Is this real?" He swallowed heavily as his gaze got drawn to the youngest Caffrey sitting at his desk.

"I checked and I double checked," Jones nodded, "I immediately came to you with this."

"You did good, Jones," Peter said. He wished he could sound more pleased, but all that he felt was lost. He hardly knew what to do with this kind of information. Had it been any case, he would immediately confront William and tell his son, but this was personal, this was Neal he was talking about.

Jones turned around and headed for the door.

"Don't tell Neal," Peter quickly said, "I'll handle this."

Jones nodded quickly and left, leaving Peter behind who could only start to guess what he would do next.

**AN: That was it again. Another chapter is done. I know, I ended with a cliffhanger, but I love to write them so much! So what is up with William? Why is he back? Does he really just want to mend things with his son? If you want to find out, then you'll have to read on.**

**I will try and post the next chapter as soon as possible!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**AN: Any and all mistakes are completely my own.**

**The next chapter has arrived. I know it has been a while since I have posted one, but I can only hope that the wait was worth it. I tried to give insight into the way Peter and Neal think and feel. I hope it succeeded. **

**Read & Review please :)**

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 5**

Peter often wondered when his life would start being easy. When would he experience a day where everything was normal? Where nothing was difficult? As he tapped his fingers impatiently on his steering wheel, his thoughts drifted to Neal.

Since the young con man had entered his life all those years ago, ever since the moment he had started an investigation against him, not a single day had gone by swiftly. Not that he missed the old and boring days, but was peace and quiet for one single day too much to ask for?

The traffic moved forward again and Peter pressed down his gas pedal. He was only a few blocks away from where William Caffrey now lived, but it seemed it was taking him forever to get there.

It did give Peter the time to think about all that was happening, all that was still bound the happen. He needed to talk to William, but how should he start their conversation? He couldn't just barge into his apartment and demand an explanation? He owed it to Neal, however, to look after him.

Peter had never thought he would experience these emotions, but he felt like a big brother and his task today was taking care of young Caffrey like a big brother would do for his little brother. El would have been proud of him for feeling this way, for looking after Neal like this, but Peter wasn't sure what to think of it.

Neal was a consultant after all, a con man and he was the FBI agent, the one that should always distance himself from the criminal, the one that should never put his trust into Neal. Yet, every day since he had been working with Neal, he had trusted him. He had even relied on him in more than one occasion.

The traffic stood entirely still again and Peter wondered if it weren't for the best to walk to William's apartment. Some fresh air could actually help him clear his mind. Seeing a good spot on the right side of his car where he could park, he decided that walking was the best option to take.

-o-o-

As he was leaning over the balcony up on June's roof, Neal was enjoying the view that he was getting. The sun was still high in the sky and gray clouds were closing in on it, but there was still time before it would start to rain. The smell of the air had already changed however, and Neal was trying to enjoy this moment for as long as he could.

Behind him, footsteps approached, but Neal didn't have to look back to see who it was that had entered his apartment.

"It's a beautiful day, Mozzie," Neal smiled, still looking at the gray clouds above him.

"Beautiful?" Mozzie come to stand next to him, a frown covering his face. "It's about to rain, I don't like rain."

"I do," Neal smirked, turning to look at Mozzie now. "After the rain is gone," he looked at the clouds again, "everything feels clean again."

"Did you take something?" Mozzie eyed him suspiciously, making Neal chuckle softly.

"No," he laughed, "but I am feeling rather happy."

Mozzie's eyebrows shot up.

"I spoke to my father today," Neal explained, "it was difficult and for a moment I just wanted to leave him behind, but I feel like I actually received some insights. We had a good talk."

"I'm pleased to hear that," Mozzie smiled.

"What's up, Mozzie," Neal asked then, knowing that there needed to be another reason why his best friend was stopping by. Seeing a gaze of doubt fill Mozzie's eyes, Neal immediately straightened his back. He forgot all about the weather as worry clouded his mind.

"I just went to see Mr and Mrs Suit," Mozzie confessed.

Neal opened his mouth as he wanted to say something, but Mozzie lifted his hand and silenced him.

"Let me explain," the short man quickly said, "they were very worried about you. They were afraid that with your father's sudden appearance, you might do something...rash."

"You mean stupid," Neal spoke with a hard voice. He walked back inside of his apartment and grabbed a glass from the top shelf. He needed some water as he felt his throat become very dry suddenly. He couldn't quiet describe what he was feeling at the moment, but it was something very close to...fear.

"Do they know?" he asked, his voice high. He turned his back towards Mozzie as he filled his glass with water. He was very thirsty.

"Yes," Mozzie simply said softly.

That was it, Neal thought, that was why he felt fear. He was afraid that now that Peter knew about his past, he would look at him differently, like he would look at him as if he was another victim. Neal despised that thought. He was not a victim, nothing had really happened between him and Daniel all those years ago. He took a gulp of water before he spoke again.

"I told you that because I thought you would not tell anyone else," Neal said, "I trusted you, Mozzie."

"I did what I thought was right," Mozzie explained.

Neal turned to look at this friend and he could see the guilt in Mozzie's eyes, but that somehow wasn't enough. He had betrayed him and Neal wasn't sure if he wanted to be talking to Mozzie at the moment. Pressing his lips together, he counted till ten before he spoke. He simply did not want to say anything stupid because Mozzie was still his best friend after all.

"Peter has no business with this," Neal finally spoke, "this is my life, my past and my father. I can handle this. If I need help, I'll ask."

"That's just it, Neal," Mozzie sighed, "I know you'll never ask for help."

Neal couldn't help but think that Mozzie was right. Not in a million years would he want to lay this burden on anyone's shoulders. These were his problems and his alone. Why would he want to trouble anyone else with them?

-o-o-

Peter found himself lucky to be reaching William's Caffrey's building without becoming wet. He had almost cursed himself for having decided to walk to this place, but it seemed the rain wouldn't be pouring down just yet.

Taking the exact same stairs he had been taking only hours ago, Peter found himself thinking that what he was doing could actually change lives. He was going to confront William about the information he had and who knew how the eldest Caffrey would react.

Knocking on the door two times, the FBI agent took in a deep breath as he waited on Mr Caffrey to open the door for him. When it happened after only a short moment, Peter could clearly see the confusion in William's eyes.

"Mr Caffrey,"Peter greeted him with respect, "I am glad to find you home."

"Come in," William immediately said, gesturing with his arm for Peter to enter, "what I surprise. It's good to see you again, agent Burke."

"Please," Peter smiled, "call me Peter."

"Only if you call me William," the eldest Caffrey said, "Mr Caffrey makes me feel old."

Peter only nodded. Entering the apartment, he let his gaze slide over every object inside. He had only been here once, but he hadn't had time to really look around. There wasn't much to see, however. A few pictures stood on a low cabinet near the window and Peter thought to be recognizing a very young Neal, but he couldn't be sure. Next to the picture of the young boy, he saw the image of a very beautiful young woman.

Her long dark curls lay loosely around her shoulders and bright blue eyes seemed to be giving of light. Her soft skin seemed almost to be illuminating and a small smile filled her face, like she knew a secret no one else knew.

"That's Neal's mother," William explained, seeing Peter look at the picture, "she was very beautiful."

"Neal looks just like her," Peter said. He wasn't lying when speaking those words. Neal had the exact same eye and even the color of their hair seemed to match perfectly.

"Always has," William took the picture of the small boy in his hands, "this is him when he was only two."

Peter took the picture into his own hands. He really should have known that this was Neal. There was the same dark brown, nearly black hair and Neal's eyes were still the same blue. Something was different, however, and Peter could suddenly see what it was. This boy was one and all innocence. If he would look the adult Neal in the eyes now, he would be staring into the eyes of a man who had lived through quiet some tragic events.

"Losing his mother was hard," William sighed, "we both missed her a lot. Life continues, however, doesn't it?"

"It does," Peter agreed, putting back the picture. "I can tell he misses her still, though."

"I'm glad that he is working with you," William smiled. He turned around and sat down on the far left side of the couch. "For a while I thought he was a lost boy."

Peter frowned as he heard William speak those words. He couldn't quiet understand what he meant by them. Going to sit on the other side of the couch, he looked William in the eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Seeing his mother die," William took in a deep breath, "it must be traumatizing. And to think how horrible it all happened..." Peter could see the old man was lost in thought. "I tried to raise him well, I tried to be a good father, but somehow, it all went wrong. I have been angry with Lillian for quiet some time, for her having hurt her son like that..."

"Neal saw it happen?" Peter needed to ask, he needed to know that he had heard him right.

William nodded. "She put him with her on our bed, like she often did when she read him stories before bedtime, only that evening she shot herself. I heard the gun and I rushed to our bedroom only to find my wife dead and my son crying, Lillian's blood on his small hands and arms as he had tried to embrace her."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Peter said, his voice soft.

A soft whisper in the back of his head told Peter that he shouldn't know this, that this were Neal's secrets he had been trying to protect for so long, but Peter couldn't help but want to know this. He needed to know this if he wanted to help the youngest Caffrey.

"And then Daniel entered our lives," William gazed at his folded hands, "first his mother left him and then I disappointed him by not being the father that he needed me to be. I want to make things right, however, I want us to be good again, you know?"

Peter wished he could understand, but the information that Jones had found came back to his mind. He wasn't sure how to begin talking about that when William seemed to be pouring his heart and soul out to him.

"Don't you think he deserves to know the truth then?" Peter watched William closely as he spoke his words. There wasn't any shock in the old man's eyes, only a strange gaze of relief. It seemed William was glad someone knew about his secret.

"No," he said, however, determination in his voice, "I don't want to hurt more than I already have."

"With all due respect," Peter knew that this wasn't really his place to be talking like this, but he knew that he had to do something, "but why come into your son's life again if you're just going to lie to him?"

William leaned forward, burying his head into his hands. Pushing back his short blonde hair, he straightened his back again. "Are you going to tell Neal?" he simply asked.

"No," Peter said, shaking his head as he spoke, "it's my place to tell him this, it's yours. You should tell him this."

"That I'm dying?" William pressed his lips together and Peter could see how hard William was trying to push back his tears. "I can't hurt him again, I can't tell him this. I just needed to know."

"Needed to know what?" Peter wanted to know.

"If he would forgive me."

The softness in which William spoke took Peter of guard. How was he supposed to react to this? What was he supposed to do now? Should he tell Neal? Should he respect William's wishes? If there was one thing Peter was certain of, was that he could not lie to Neal, he simply refused to.

**AN: That was it, another chapter done. It is finally clear what William's secret is, but what will happen now. What will Peter do? You'll find out soon...**

**Gloworm41: I just wanted to thank you. It was you that gave me the idea of Lillian's suicide being by gun. I was never planning on going into the details of her suicide, but you made it clear to me that this would explain perfectly why Neal hates guns so much. So thanks!**

**I will try and post the next chapter as soon as possible.**

**Read & Review :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**AN: Any and all mistakes are completely my own.**

**Here is the next chapter and I hope the wait wasn't too long. I tried to make this chapter suspensfull, tried to make a lot of things happen, but I'm not sure that succeeded. If you want to know what I am talking about, however, you'll have to keep on reading...**

**Read & Review please :)**

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 6**

Peter wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. Looking at William, all that he saw was an old and defeated man. He hated it as he did not want to see this image. He wanted to look at a proud and confident man, but he couldn't deny seeing the pain in William's eyes.

"Neal is very confused," Peter said after a long moment of silence. He took in a deep breath before saying anything else, not wanting to show his own emotions. "He doesn't know it himself yet, but he has no idea what to do with your return."

"I just needed to see him again," William sighed, leaning back into the couch, "I needed to know that he was alright." He coughed rather violently, but he soon regained his composure. "Thank you for taking care of him," he added.

Peter knew what William was doing, changing the subject, but he couldn't bring himself to change it back. For some reason, he believed William needed to relief some of the burdens that lay on his heart. Talking about his illness, the cancer, wouldn't do any good any way.

"He is a good man," the FBI agent told the eldest Caffrey, "he has a lot of potential."

"I wish I could have been there for him more often," William threw his gaze down, looking at his white folded hands in his lap, "especially with the whole Daniel thing..."

Peter could see how William was lost in thought. "William," he called back for his attention, "promise me you will tell Neal this."

The old Caffrey slowly nodded, seemingly defeated like he couldn't go in against Peter's wishes. The FBI agent realized he might be coming on strong, but it was only in Neal's best interest.

"Thank you," Peter cracked a faint smile, but he soon sighed. "I should go."

"So soon?"

William seemed honestly saddened by the thought of Peter leaving already and only then did Peter understand what else was playing in all this. Loneliness. William felt alone and he was longing for some friendship if only not to be alone during his final days or weeks on this earth. Peter, however, wasn't the one that should be with him. Neal would be a better companion. The FBI agent leaned forward, closer towards William, and he waited until William gazed him in the eyes.

"Call your son," he said softly, "make sure he knows that you love him."

William swallowed heavily and then nodded, a smile on his face. "I will do that," he said.

-o-o-

Neal had been reading a book when he heard two short knocks on the door. Glad to have some distraction -the book was really awful- he stood up and went to see who it was that came to see him. He was surprised to find Peter standing before him, however, and a strange sting in his chest made him unsure why it was that he wasn't glad to see the FBI agent.

"Neal," Peter smiled as he entered, "I am glad to find you here."

"Where else would I be?" Neal asked rhetorically. He was surprised to hear his own voice distant.

"There are enough art galleries within your two-mile-radius," Peter joked.

Neal couldn't help but frown. He knew a lot of sides to Peter Burke, but humor was one he barely witnessed. Again, he felt that strange sense of emotion he couldn't yet place.

"Why are you here?" he quickly asked. Again, his voice sounded cold and the FBI agent had noticed it as well. The agent seemed taken aback and doubt filled his eyes. They stood awkwardly before the closed front door.

"I went to see your father," Peter explained after a short moment of unbearable silence. He folded his arms in front of his chest, not knowing what else he should do with his arms.

"Aren't you both the best of friends," Neal said, rolling his eyes. He turned to look away from Peter as he walked into the open kitchen, grabbing a glass from the top shelve and poured himself some wine. He knew it was still early to be drinking alcohol, at least at his standards, but he simply seemed to be needing something to keep his hands busy.

"Are you okay?"

Peter's voice was surprisingly soft and that only made Neal even more...angry. That was it, he felt angry. Peter had been digging into his past and he had not the slightest right to do so. It wasn't like Neal dug into Peter's past.

"I asked you not to do it," the young can man said as he turned to look at Peter, "I know that I owe you a lot, but you had no right to dig into my past. Those were my secrets and now you look at me as if I'm...the victim here."

"I don't look at you like you're a victim," Peter countered. He walked into the open kitchen as well now and leaned on one of the chairs that stood neatly before the table.

"You do," Neal placed his glass of wine down and he leaned down on the counter, his fingers clutched to the edges of it, "even now, you are looking at me as if I am the poorest soul on this earth."

Peter swallowed heavily, but Neal ignored it.

"Everything has changed now," he sighed, "Peter, I'm sorry, but I would like you to leave."

"I'm not leaving you behind," Peter protested, "you're my friend and I want to help, that's all."

Neal remained silent, throwing his gaze down. He wasn't used to having these kind of talks and certainly not with an FBI agent.

"I truly don't look at you as a victim," Peter told him when he realized the young Caffrey wasn't going to say anything soon, "on the contrary, you're one of the strongest young man that I know. You've come back from far, Neal, you couldn't have wasted your entire life, but you decided to help me."

"I don't regret my choices," Neal said, his voice soft now too, "I am glad that you call me your friend, but that still doesn't make up for the fact that you've still made a mistake."

Peter nodded his head, accepting every word Neal told him. "Please join me and Elizabeth for dinner tonight?" He took a step closer towards Neal, knowing that his question had come rather abruptly. "Please? El will kill me if you don't show up tonight."

"I don't think-"

"Please?"

Neal wanted to say no, he truly did, but he was well aware of what El would feel if he didn't show up. She was a kind woman, always being there for her friends and the last thing Neal wanted to do was disappoint her.

"Alright," he gave in, "for Elizabeth."

Peter smiled broadly. "You're saving my skin."

-o-o-

As Peter stepped back into his office, he felt a sense of relief wash over him. These were the walls that gave him confidence, that made him feel certain of himself that he was a good FBI agent. When it came to personal business, however, he felt very insecure.

It was mostly Elisabeth who handled this kind of sensitive stuff and Peter never had any problems with that. Neal was his friend, however, and so it should be him that looked after the young man and Peter would make sure that he was alright.

Letting himself drop down in his chair before his desk, he leaned back and let his thoughts drift back to William. He still found it difficult to remember the fragility he had displayed and Peter wasn't sure if the elder Caffrey truly was going to tell Neal the truth about his illness.

It wasn't like William could simply tell this randomly to Neal and Peter thought that perhaps it would be better if he were to be present as well. Maybe he could offer support or he could talk to Neal should he not take the news very well. There were so many options he could take and he wasn't sure which one he was supposed to chose.

-o-o-

William couldn't help but stare at the phone which he held firmly in his right hand. He knew Neal's number by heart, but he couldn't bring himself to actually dial it. Should he meet with his son now, there would be no turning back.

But perhaps that was for the best. Peter had been right after all. Neal deserved to know the truth and for once in his life, William refused to let his son down. He might not have been a good father, there was still a chance to change that. There was not a lot of time, though.

Just as his thumb reached for the first number, a knock on his door called for his attention. For a moment, William wanted to ignore it, but when he realized it could be Neal standing at his door, he let the phone drop onto the couch and hurried to answer it.

What he saw shocked him, however, and he could actually feel his mouth turn dry. His eyes widened and the palms of his hands suddenly turned very clammy. Swallowing heavily, he wanted to close the door again, but he was prevented from doing so.

Daniel prevented him.

-o-o-

Neal had never liked having these kind of emotions. He always considered himself to be happy man, to always look on the bright side of life and to always see the best intentions in other people. At least, that is what made it easier for him to con other people. He had learned early on that others found it much safer to trust a man that always smiled.

Feeling anger towards Peter was something Neal didn't like and yet, he couldn't help it. For some reason, he felt looked down upon by the FBI agent. He could take care of himself, he could manage his own business so why couldn't Peter do to same?

He knew that Elizabeth wouldn't regard him as a victim, that all she wanted was to make sure that he was alright, but going to dinner with them tonight might just be a little too farfetched. Perhaps it would be better to cancel that dinner.

Reaching for his cell phone, he quickly dialed Peter's number.

-o-o-

William had wanted to slam the door shut, he had wanted Daniel's nose to be caught in between, but all that he could do was stand back and feel his breath be trapped inside his chest.

"Hello, William." Daniel's voice was harsh, rough, but strangely quiet and soft at the same time.

"Turn around and walk away," William hissed. He had made the mistake to become friends with Daniel once, he certainly wasn't going to make that mistake again.

"I just need to talk to you," he said, carefully closing the door behind him, "please hear me out."

"No," William nearly yelled, "I want you to leave."

"I came to apologize," Daniel said, almost desperately, "I needed to talk to you."

William shook his head, refusing to listen to anything Daniel was telling him. How dared he come in here and want to apologize after everything he had done to him, to Neal. He had tried to take advantage of him and he thought one simply apology would make that alright?

It was simple madness.

"Get out," William's voice was still very strong as he spoke.

"You were my friend once," Daniel sighed, "I just wanted to say how sorry I am for screwing that all up."

William took in a deep breath. They had been friends once, a long time ago, and perhaps the least he could do, was offer Daniel the chance to talk. Not saying a word, he stared into Daniel's eyes. Only one thought was on his mind; he would not let Neal down.

**AN: Is William going to make the horrible mistake of forgiving Daniel? They were best of friends all those years ago... Will Neal find out about Daniel having returned? What will he do? Many, many questions are still floating around, but I promise to answer them quickly. **

**Thanks for having read this chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**AN: Any and all mistakes are completely my own.**

**Read & Review, please :)**

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 7**

"Make it quick," William's voice came hard and cold. He did not like looking at Daniel or even being in the same room as him; not when things with Neal were going so well. Every second he spent with the man, was a second he could later regret.

Daniel seemed to have changed, however, but that shouldn't be much of a surprise. Last time they had seen each other was four years ago. It had been the day that William had testified against him, had caused him to go behind bars. Was that why Daniel had truly returned? Not to apologize, but to take revenge of some sort? William was well aware of Daniel's temper and he wasn't sure he would even be able to defend himself should he need to.

"Let's sit down," Daniel suggested, his voice calm.

It surprised William to hear a kind of softness in Daniel's voice. Perhaps he had come to apologize after all. Turning around, William walked over to his couch and sat down, seeing how Daniel came to sit opposite of him. The eldest Caffrey truly was not liking this situation, but he thought that should he allow Daniel to tell him what he wanted him to know, then perhaps he would leave quickly.

"Thank you for offering me a chance to talk," Daniel spoke when realizing William wasn't going to say anything. "I am trying to turn my life around and I don't have much time anymore I realized."

William frowned when hearing those words. They appeared almost awkward, at least coming out of Daniel's mouth. William had always known Daniel is a sort of idealist, as a man who considered himself to be young forever.

"I'm starting to get old, William," Daniel sighed, "and I still have so much to do."

"Why are you telling me all this?" William shifted his balance nervously, having no clue what to expect of this conversation anymore. Was Daniel aware of his illness? Was that the reason why he was talking about not having much time anymore? It only made him more anxious to find out what Daniel had to say next.

"I am telling you this because you've been my friend for a long time," he explained, "you've been there for me when everyone else dropped me like a rock."

"I should have dropped you as well," William said, pressing his lips together when he had spoken those words. There were so many more words he wanted to call Daniel, so many awful things he wanted to yell at him for having torn apart his relationship with Neal. He refused to give into his feelings of hatred and anger. They would only make things worse.

"I know," Daniel simply sighed, apparently not seeing the anger in William's eyes, "you truly should have. That's why I am here, that's why I am thanking you. If it hadn't been for you, I would still be a bastard."

"So you're telling me you are a good man now?" William felt the sarcasm drip from his tongue like poison and he could see how Daniel swallowed heavily, his neckline tensing.

"I try to be," he said, defending himself, "I have done awful things-"

"You tried to molest my son!" William could no longer hold back his anger and he didn't mind. He had not defended Neal all those years ago and he would not make that mistake twice.

"Is that what he told you?" Daniel's voice was surprisingly soft.

William wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now. He felt his breath being caught inside his chest, he felt the palms of his hands turn clammy and he could feel fury rise up in his throat. "You're saying you didn't?" he hissed.

Daniel swallowed heavily. "I did," he stated, sounding strangely out of breath as if saying the words were difficult for him, "and I have regret that ever since."

"Then what were you talking about?" William demanded to know, his eyes nothing more than two thin lines.

Daniel was now the one pressing his lips together. It was obvious he was still hiding something and a sting of hurt rose up in William's chest. If Daniel was hiding something involving Neal, then this meant his son had hid it from him as well.

He balled his fists until his knuckles became almost white and he stared into Daniel's eyes. He would not look away until he heard the complete truth.

"Tell me," he said. He still refused to look away. "You came to apologize, for whatever stupid reason, but it sure wasn't because you tried to take advantage of my son all those years ago. What else happened?"

Daniel cast down his gaze and sighed. It seemed he didn't have any other choice anymore. Looking back up to meet William's eyes, he told him everything he wanted to know.

-o-o-

Peter could not believe what he was reading. He wouldn't even have been reading it hadn't it been for Jones. The young FBI agent had come into his office holding a file, a concerned gaze in his eyes and Peter had immediately risen from his seat. The name written on the file had frightened Peter even though he wasn't sure why. It just couldn't have meant anything good when Jones had come into his office with information on Daniel.

He was reading every word carefully now, not wanting to miss any detail. It wasn't very hard to understand, however. The file told him that Daniel Hill had been released from prison a year early due to good behavior. His parole agent was a name Peter had never heard of before, but what concerned him more was that he and Daniel were apparently only a few cities away.

Rising from his seat again, placing the file on his desk, he grabbed his coat and car keys and headed out. He had made the mistake before in not telling Neal the truth. He was not going to make that mistake again. Heading over to where the young con artist lived, Peter was already trying to figure out how to bring the news exactly.

-o-o-

Neal had wanted to cancel dinner, he truly did want to, but he couldn't bring himself to actually dial his phone and call Peter. He just never liked letting down Elizabeth and so he had tossed his phone back onto the couch. Not meeting with the Burkes was actually just postponing the inevitable.

He could not help but think about his father, however. Perhaps he should call him. Neal had never given William much thought since he had left his elder house, but since he had returned into his life, Neal had told himself that he should at least try and rebuild a relationship with him. William was his father after all.

A knock on his door made him nearly jump six feet into the air. He had been so lost in thought that he had forgotten all about his surroundings. Getting up to see who it was that wanted to see him, Neal frowned to find his father standing before him.

"William," he said, surprised to see him. He might want to restart his relationship with him, he still didn't feel like actually calling him _dad_ or _father_.

"I need to speak to you," William said.

Neal found it strange to hear his voice distant, almost cold. He frowned, but he didn't ask questions, not yet. Stepping aside so that the eldest Caffrey could enter, Neal followed his father inside.  
"Please, sit," Neal suggested, going to stand at the head of the table.

William didn't hesitate and pulled a chair back. Sitting down, he looked at his son who didn't seem to make any motions to sit down as well.

"There is something I need to tell you," William said, his voice having softened suddenly.

Neal wasn't sure what he was supposed to expect. One moment, William had appeared distant, angry and now his gaze had softened, as if he were sad. Neal wanted to say something, anything, but he was lost for words. All that he could do was wait for his father to say what this was all about.

"But first I want to truth," William said. He took in a deep breath as he watched his son.

"What truth?" Neal couldn't follow what his father was on about and all that he wanted was to understand what this was all about.

"Don't play games," William said, almost begged, "I want to be a good father, I know that I have failed you horribly, but I think I still deserve to know the truth."

"I don't-"

"I know," William interrupted Neal, not wanting to listen to his lies.

The youngest Caffrey swallowed heavily. Only now did the realization come to him that perhaps William knew the complete truth.

"I know everything," the eldest Caffrey sighed, "and I can't believe you never told me."

"You're such a hypocrite," Neal sneered. He couldn't help but doing it and even when seeing the gaze filled with hurt in his father eyes, Neal still didn't feel sorry for having said such horrible words. "I told you about what Daniel tried to do and you told me that it wasn't proper of me to lie like that! How did you expect me to tell you the rest then? You wouldn't have believed me!"

William threw his gaze down, but Neal didn't stop his rant.

"You want to make up for everything," he nearly yelled, "you want to make things right again and then you come in here and accuse me of lying. I don't feel sorry for having lied to you, I don't feel sorry for the way things turned out because I liked my life! I liked the person who I was and I like who I am now. You're not going to screw that up for me!"

"You're right," William said, nodding as he took in Neal's every word. His voice was still very soft. "It was wrong of me to expect you to tell me everything."

"You're my father," Neal sighed, pulling back a chair as well now and sitting down, "I want to make things right with you, I want you in my life, truly, but perhaps all this is going just a little too quickly."

William took in a deep breath. "I saw him," he almost whispered, "Daniel came to see me."

Neal pressed his lips together. The simply thought of Daniel made him want to yell again, but it wasn't as if it would do anyone any good.

"He was the one who told me everything," William continued talking, "who told me all that happened in the past. I told him I never want to see him again so I don't believe that he will come back."

"I don't know what to think of this," Neal told his father in all honesty. He truly didn't know what to think and for all he knew, his mind was completely blank at the moment. "I do think that I need some time."

"Neal," William said, but he hesitated to speak his next words. "I'm here for you, if you ever want to talk."

"You said you have something to tell me," Neal suddenly remembered.

"It's okay," William conjured up a faint smile, "it's not important."

Neal wanted to protest, he wanted his father to tell him everything, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. There was still only one thought on his mind and that was Daniel. He had told William everything and Neal felt exposed. There was not a single person in this world that truly knew about his past, not even Kate had known, not even Mozzie, but lately, all of his secrets were being revealed.

Neal felt his identity slip away from him, he felt his true self appear with all of his troubles and pain and the young con artist hated it.

He had built years and years towards a certain point, he had created every bit of his personality and life and that was all being shattered. It was only a matter of time before even Peter would learn the whole truth about Daniel.

**AN: Another chapter is done, but it seems not all the secrets are exposed yet. Don't worry, however, I will not keep you guys in the dark for too long. Perhaps the next chapter might already bring some answers. **

**But you'll have to wait and see what happens next. Thanks for having read this chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**AN: Any and all mistakes are completely my own.**

**Read & Review, please :)**

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 8**

Peter felt he was doing the right thing. It was a feeling he had not been experiencing in quiet some time. Today, however, he would not let Neal down. Driving over to where the young con artist lived, Peter took in deep breaths. He tried to think of ways to tell him that Daniel was out of prison, that he only lived a few cities away.

Parking his car in front of the magnificent house that belonged to June, Peter hurried upstairs and knocked on Neal's apartment door. Not later than three seconds did he see the young Caffrey standing before him. He seemed different somehow...older. Peter was used to seeing Neal smile, to seeing his eyes shine and his body language confident.

The man who was standing before him, however, appeared to be a different person. Neal seemed tired, like he had not slept well in a few days and it made Peter swallow heavily. Perhaps he should wait with telling Neal about Daniel's whereabouts.

"If you're here about Daniel," Neal simply said, not waiting on Peter to say anything, "then I already know."

Neal turned around and walked back into the apartment. He let himself fall down on the couch, leaning back his head and closing his eyes.

"You do?" Peter asked a little astonished. He entered the apartment as well, carefully closing the door behind him.

"William told me," Neal explained, his eyes still shut, "he said Daniel came to see him."

Peter was surprised to hear Neal's voice so soft. He would have expected him to feel angry, to be furious, but in stead, he sat on his couch...defeated. It wasn't a pleasant sight and Peter only wanted to help his friend. If only he knew how.

"How are you?" Peter asked rather hesitantly. Was he even supposed to ask a stupid question like that? It was obvious Neal was having a hard time.

Neal opened his eyes and shrugged. "I don't know," he sighed, "I honestly don't know."

"What did Daniel say to your father?" Peter asked. He walked over to where Neal was sitting and he sat down beside him. He made sure there was enough room between them, and he knew that this was for the best. Neal would not like having anyone too close at the moment.

"Everything," the word escaped Neal's lips so softly.

Peter wasn't even sure he had understood correctly. "What do you mean?"

Neal's lips trembled and Peter could see how he was pushing back all of it. "_Everything_."

His voice was harder now and again, he didn't seem to want to explain himself. In one smooth movement, Neal stood up, rubbing his hands over his face.

"I would like to be alone," he announced, looking Peter straight in the eyes.

"I don't know-"

"Please?" Neal's voice came so softly again. His eyes were almost pleading and Peter couldn't say no.

"You can always call me," he said, wanting Neal to understand this. "You can always call El."

"I know," Neal assured the FBI agent. "Thank you."

Peter stood up as well now. Taking in a deep breath, he turned around and left Neal alone. He was hoping, really _hoping_, that what he was doing wasn't stupid or idiotic. Should he truly leave Neal alone in times like these? It didn't seem very logical, but then again, Peter wasn't planning on truly leaving Neal alone.

No, he would check in on him in a few hours. It was the least he could do.

-o-o-

William couldn't help but feel sorry. He had seen the look in his son's eyes, he had seen his pain, but he had pushed anyway. It was clear that his son had tried to conceal so much from his past, so much that seemed to be too hurtful to remember, and he had come along and brought everything back towards the surface.

Neal had appeared happy, he had appeared to be a decent man, but now he seemed to be falling apart somehow and William was certain of it that it was all because of him.

That thought hurt him more than anything. He didn't care about Daniel, he didn't care about the truth. All that mattered to him, was his son.

A stinging pain rose in his chest and William could feel how it was spreading through the rest of his body. His left arm was numb, a tingling sensation taking over the tips of his fingers. The pain grew until all that William could do, was grunt. He couldn't breath, he couldn't move. All that he could do, was fall down just before he had reached the door of his apartment.

Only one thought seared through his mind; _Neal_. He didn't want to die, not yet. He had so many more things he wanted to do. He wanted to talk to Neal, he wanted to let him know that he loved him so very much. Why was it he had to die because of a heart attack while cancer was taking over his body?

A face appeared before him, but William couldn't really recognize it.

"Mr. Caffrey?" the face asked. His voice was familiar and only then did William recognize his neighbor. "I am going to call 911," his neighbor assured him.

William knew that it would be pointless. Everything was pointless now. The pain was taking its toll and William closed his eyes, allowing the darkness to take him. If he were to die today, then his last thought would be Neal.

"Neal," he whispered.

Then only silence.

-o-o-

The call seemed to have come out of nowhere. Peter had been sitting behind his desk, finishing some paperwork, when the hospital had called him. They had been looking for Peter Burke which surprised to FBI agent. He could feel in the pit of his stomach that this had something to do with William so why was he the one getting the call and not Neal?

Or had Neal gotten the call already? If that were to be true, then Peter knew he would have to rush over to his apartment.

"This is Peter Burke," he announced.

The voice on the other end of the line was that of a woman. She sounded calm and sincere as she brought the news. "I am afraid that William Caffrey has passed away," she said, "you are listed as his emergency contact."

"Oh," Peter could only say. It surprised him to hear that. Why would William chose him? Why not Neal? Only then did the thought occur to him. William would not want Neal to hear the news of his death from a stranger over the phone. He would want Neal to hear it from someone that cared from him, that could offer some comfort.

"Sir?" the woman asked.

Peter swallowed heavily, not having realized he had not said anything else.

"What happened?" he asked, taking in a deep breath. He had seen William only hours ago and he had appeared to still be strong. How could he have died so quickly?

"He had a heart attack, sir," the woman explained, "his body was very weak. I'm so sorry for your loss."

Peter shut his phone. He wasn't even sure if the woman had been done speaking to him, but Peter didn't really care. All that he could think of was Neal. How was he ever going to tell him this?

-o-o-

He had arrived at Neal's apartment only twenty minutes later. He knew Neal had asked him to leave him be for a while, but this was an urgent situation. Peter couldn't even begin to understand what would be going through Neal's head when he would learn about his father's death.

Taking the stairs until he reached Neal's door, Peter hesitated. Perhaps he should not tell him just yet. Perhaps he should call El first. She could know how to handle this. She always knew how to handle these kind of situations. Peter quickly realized, however, that he was simply postponing the inevitable. Neal needed to know this.

Knocking on the door, he heard Neal's voice call him in. He opened the door to find the young con man sitting at the table, a large cup of coffee before him, together with some books and old newspapers. It seemed Neal had been trying to take his mind off of things, but judging by the way he still looked very tired, Peter knew he had failed.

"I thought you were going to leave me alone?" Neal asked, his eyes nothing more than two thin lines.

"I know," Peter said, sitting down on the opposite side of the table, "there is something I have to tell you."

Neal leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed before his chest. Patiently, he waited on Peter to tell him.

"It's about your father," the FBI agent began.

"When isn't it about him these days?" Neal asked. He swallowed heavily, but allowed Peter to continue speaking.

"He had a heart attack," the FBI agent told him. He was surprised to find his own voice this soft. He could see the distrust in Neal's eyes, like he didn't believe a word he was saying. "I'm sorry, Neal, your father passed away."

Neal slowly started shaking his head, pressing his lips together and all the color seemed to be vanishing from his face.

"I'm so sorry," Peter said again, his voice still soft.

"It can't be," Neal said. His lips trembled as he spoke. "I saw him hours ago, he was fine."

"He wasn't," Peter explained. He hated it that William had never told his son the truth. "Your father was very sick. He had cancer."

"Why didn't he tell me?" Neal wanted to know, but Peter wasn't the one who could answer that question.

"He loved you," Peter said, hoping his words would bring some comfort, "I know he did."

"He's a bastard," Neal whispered, his voice hard. "He is such a bastard!" He jumped up from his seat and his arms pushed everything that stood on the table onto the floor. It almost sounded like an explosion and Peter couldn't help but jump onto his feet as well.

"That bastard!" Neal yelled again. Rubbing his hands roughly through his hair, he pushed back his tears and all that Peter wanted to do was comfort him. The FBI agent just didn't know how.

"Neal," he whispered. He knew he had to stay calm, he knew he had to simply be there for the youngest Caffrey, but it was difficult when seeing him this...broken.

"He lied to me," Neal sighed, his arms falling next to his body, "why didn't he tell me?"

Peter was taken aback by the softness in Neal's voice.

"He wanted to protect you," Peter assured him, "that's all he wanted."

"I can't do this," Neal said, taking a step back from Peter, "I can't handle this."

"I'm so sorry, Neal," he repeated.

"I can't," Neal swallowed heavily, "I want you to leave."

"Neal-"

"Now," his voice was a hiss.

Peter didn't say anything, he didn't even move.

"Please go," Neal asked more gentle this time.

Peter knew that he shouldn't, not now. He didn't move, he didn't make a gesture towards the door. He simply looked in Neal's eyes and hoped that the young con artist would understand that he wasn't alone.

"No," Peter said.

"I can't do this," Neal sighed. His eyes shone brightly as tears were invading them, but he refused to let them run freely down his cheeks. "I can't."

"He was your father," Peter said, "it's okay to feel hurt by this."

"Hurt?" Neal exclaimed. "He comes into my life and he brings back all the memories that I have been trying to forget for years. He comes back and he ruins everything! I am not hurt, if anything, I am glad!"

Peter knew none of what Neal was telling was the truth. "He loved you," he said, not looking away from Neal, "he truly did love you."

Neal didn't know how to handle those words. The first tear escaped the corner of his right eye, but he quickly wiped it away. "He's a bastard," he said again, "nothing more."

"Because of Daniel?" Peter asked.

"He did nothing," Neal said as his bottom lip trembled, "William did nothing. He watched how Daniel taught me everything, how he taught me to draw and paint. William encouraged me, thought that I could be some artist one day." Neal let himself drop back onto his chair as he stared into the distance.

"Daniel never meant for me to be an artist. In stead, he had me learning about safety systems, about vaults and how to disarm alarms. He thought me everything that I know today."

Peter swallowed heavily.

"And then he came to me, drunk," Neal continued, "and he..." his voice broke as the second and third tear ran down his face, "I was so afraid, Peter, too afraid to move. It was only after he had finished with me that I ran. He went to get some more whiskey and I ran. I ran straight towards William. I told him everything. I told him about the lessons Daniel taught me and about how he had...touched me. William said I was a liar, that Daniel had taught me well."

Peter pressed his lips together. So this was the truth. The complete truth. He wanted to move closer to Neal, he wanted to tell him everything would be okay, but those words would seem empty.

"William had known," Neal blinked a few times, more tears running down his face, "he had known what Daniel was teaching me. Wh-wh-" he took in a deep breath, steadying himself, "why didn't he protect me? Why didn't he tell Daniel to leave me alone like any father would do?" Neal looked up to meet Peter's gaze. "In stead he calls me a liar and a cheat."

"I'm so sorry," was all that Peter could say.

"It's never been the same after that," Neal sighed, "Daniel and William were still friends and I felt disgusted. I thought it was all my fault. I was smart enough to run away, however," Neal looked down at his hands that lay motionless in his lap, "when I turned sixteen, I packed my bag and I never looked back."

There was a short silence and Peter didn't know how to fill it.

"Daniel is the reason I am what I am; a con artist and a pretty good one," Neal explained, "he is the reason I am sitting here right now."

"That's not true," Peter said as he took a step closer towards the youngest Caffrey, "you are sitting here because you made your own choices. You chose to help me, you chose to make a better life for yourself and I am proud of you."

Neal still didn't look up.

"Do you hear me?" Peter asked. "I am proud of you!"

"He's gone," Neal whispered, "he'd dead."

"Yes," Peter told him, "and it is okay to feel hurt, even after everything that has happened between the two of you."

"He's dead," Neal simply repeated.

Peter only took one more step and he reached Neal. Placing his hand gently on the young man's shoulder, he squeezed it and Neal looked up. His cheeks were wet with tears and he had dark circles underneath his eyes.

"He's gone," Neal whispered and Peter could only nod.

**AN: Another chapter is done. We finally know the complete truth and I hope it didn't disappoint. Is it bad of me to admit that I loved writing this chapter? I am a sucker for some Neal in pain! And of course, I needed Peter to be there for him...**

**Neal seems pretty broken, however, and only time will tell how he will deal with William's death. The next chapter will arrive soon, however, so don't worry!**

**Please let me know what you think of this chapter? Did I handle the hurt well?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**AN: Any and all mistakes are completely my own.**

**Read & Review, please :)**

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 9**

The ride to the hospital was spent in complete silence and Peter wanted to break it, but he simply didn't know how. Neal was sitting in the passenger seat, his head turned so he was facing his window. His hands lay folded in his lap and his back was bowed forward a little, his shoulders hung down. This was not a sight Peter was used to and he didn't want to become used to it, either.

But how could he expect anything else for the moment? Neal had just lost his father, he had told Peter the complete truth and the FBI agent knew how difficult that had been for the young con artist. For many years now, Peter thought Neal was almost an indestructible man. He always looked at the bright sight of life, he always tried to stay positive, but that was gone now.

The man that was sitting next to him now was an almost dark version of the real Neal. Or was this the real Neal? Peter shook that thought away. He didn't even want to think that Neal truly felt like this for his entire life already.

Turning into the parking lot of the hospital, Peter parked his car as close to the entrance as possible, but they still would have to walk for a almost a minute. It didn't help that it had started to rain again and Peter thought about using his FBI-badge so that he would be allowed to park closer to the entrance. As soon as his car came to a halt, however, Neal stepped outside, not even bothering taking his hat with him. It had even surprised Peter to see Neal had the hat with him in the first place.

He put off the engine and stepped outside as well, looking at Neal through squinted eyes. It was pouring now and it was very cold. The spring had truly ended. Neal already started walking and Peter could only follow. He tried to search for the right words to say, but his mind came up empty. With his hands in his pockets, Peter felt his cellphone buzz against his fingers of his right hand. Taking out the phone, he saw Elizabeth was calling him.

"Hello," Peter greeted her, his voice soft.

"I'm glad to hear your voice," Elizabeth said.

Peter could hear her relief. "Are you okay?" A strange sense of worry crept over him.

"Yes," Elizabeth quickly answered, "I just worried about you and about Neal. How is he?"

"I don't know," Peter sighed. He was walking slower than the young con artist, a few meters was between them. It wasn't that big of a distance, but if Peter kept his voice soft enough, Neal wouldn't be able to hear what he was saying. And by the looks of it, Neal was lost deep in thought anyway.

"You have to talk to him, honey," Elizabeth said, "he needs you right now."

Those words sounded awfully strange to Peter and he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear them again. Hearing Elizabeth say to him that Neal actually needed him was something he had never thought to hear. For all the time Peter had been chasing Neal, tracking him down to arrest, he had distanced himself from the con artist. You were obligated to do so if you wanted to catch the criminal, but here he was, being told by his wife he needed to be there for Neal.

There was a difference between being one's friend and being the person that was _there for him_ when he was needed.

"Honey?"

Peter was snapped out his thoughts by Elizabeth's voice. "I'm still here," he sighed, "Neal and I are about to enter the hospital. Could you-?" He hesitated for a moment. "Could you come as well?"

"Of course," Elizabeth said, "I can be there within the next...ten minutes."

"Thanks," Peter said, "I love you." He ended the call and looked ahead, seeing Neal enter the hospital. Peter rushed to get inside as well and the warmth was very welcoming. He was soaked with rain water and it wasn't a pleasant feeling.

"Here we are," Peter said. It was the only thing that had come to his mind and already he cursed himself for having said those words. Why couldn't he come up with something better?

"Are you okay?" Again, such a stupid thing to ask.

Neal looked back, looking into Peter's eyes. His face was wet and Peter didn't know if it was because he had been crying or because of the rain.

"Let's just," Neal swallowed heavily, "get this over with."

"Alright," Peter said. They headed to the elevator and waited for a short moment. Again, only silence hung between them. The elevator came and they entered only to get out on the third floor. The halls were very bright, painted in a soft blue and the lights cast a yellow glow on the walls and floor. The typical smell of medicine hung in the air and Peter was again reminded that he actually did not like hospitals at all. They always meant bad news.

"What's the name of the doctor you talked to?" Neal asked.

Peter was stunned to hear the coldness in Neal's voice. His eyes were dark, almost black and the dark circles underneath his eyes gave him something mysterious and...broken. He might be trying to come of as a strong person, as dealing, but he wasn't fooling Peter.

"Doctor Hayden," Peter answered, "she said she would be here."

As Peter had spoken the words, a young doctor came towards them. "Neal Caffrey? Peter Burke?" she asked. Her long blond curls lay loosely around her shoulders and her blue eyes seemed almost the opposite of Neal's right now. She might appear to be still very young, Peter could see she had a sort of authority in her.

"I am doctor Lindsey Hayden," she introduced herself, "I am very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," Neal simply said. His hands were still buried in his pockets and Peter could see how doctor Hayden wasn't sure if she should offer him her hand. When she moved her gaze on to Peter, she did extend her hand and Peter shook it.

"Thank you for coming so quickly," doctor Hayden said, "there are some personal things your father left behind. You can come into my office if you like."

Peter nodded and followed doctor Hayden to her office. Neal seemed to be doing the same thing when he suddenly came to a stop.

"Actually," he said, waiting on them to turn around and look at him, "could I see him first?"

Doctor Hayden slowly nodded. "He's still in a room," she explained, "they were able to revive him in the ambulance, but he crashed again here. We didn't revive him."

"Why not?" It was Peter who asked the question.

"Mr. Caffrey had signed a DNR-order," she said, "we only respected his wish."

Peter glanced at Neal to find any reaction, but there was hardly any. He only nodded and asked for the room number. Peter started walking with him when Neal placed his hand on Peter's shoulder.

"I would like to do this alone," he said.

Peter wanted to object, but he didn't feel like he even had the right. If Neal wanted a moment alone with his father, then he should get that chance.

"My office is right around the corner, Mr. Caffrey," doctor Hayden said, "you can come any time you're ready."

Neal only nodded and started walking again, leaving behind a very worried Peter.

-o-o-

The room was surprisingly bright. As Neal carefully closed the door behind him, he took in a deep breath before turning around and looking at the body that lay in the hospital bed. Because that was all that it was: a body. It wasn't his father anymore and yet, Neal had the strange urge to see him.

Slowly, he glanced around until his gaze fell once again upon William. He lay peacefully, his face almost covered with a smile, as if he was pleased he was no longer in pain. His skin had still some color and it made it appear as if William was simply sleeping.

Neal took a step closer to his father and when he finally arrived at his bedside, he carefully placed his hand on his father's. He was already cold and Neal couldn't help but retract his hand immediately. This wasn't something he wanted to remember, certainly not the coldness. He didn't even want to remember him like this.

Neal felt his throat go very dry suddenly and his legs started shaking. This was it. He was an orphan now and the thought was strangely hurting him. The thought that his father had been out there, somewhere in the world, had somehow satisfied Neal, it had made him feel a little less lonely. Now that William was gone, however, he was the only Caffrey on this planet.

He switched of the light in the room, casting it completely in shadows. The dark was soothing somehow, like it concealed the true nature of William's condition, of his death.

"Hello, Dad," Neal whispered. He couldn't actually remember when the last time was when he had called William that. _Dad_. He had never considered him to be worthy of the word anymore, not after he had abandoned him like that. He had come through for him, however, he had testified against Daniel.

"I wish we had a little more time," he sighed, "I really thought we could make this work." The trembling of his legs grew worse and Neal stepped back until he felt he had hit a wall. Letting himself slide down, he closed his eyes and felt how truly exhausted he was.

"I guess this is the last time that I'll see you," he said, "the last time I'll ever be in the same room with you. Had you pictured our reunion a little different?" He paused, half expecting an answer. Of course, only silence hung in the room. "I did," he continued talking, "I've always tried to picture what it would be like when I would finally see you again. It never involved this."

Someone passed William's room in the hallway and Neal stopped talking. He didn't want anyone to enter just yet. Nobody did, however, and so Neal continued talking again. "I always thought," he took in a deep breath, "that we would finally have a _decent_ conversation. We would sit down and talk about things. For the first time in years, we would be honest to each other."

Again, a short silence as Neal tried to push back his tears. He fairly succeeded, but he could feel how his eyes stung, how his lower lip trembled in pain and grief.

"We never had a decent conversation anymore," he sighed, "we never told each other the truth. It was silly of me to think it would have been otherwise. Why would you tell me about your illness when I never tell you anything? _Told_ you anything."

Again, someone passed outside, the footsteps heavy, but the figure paused as it stood before the door. Whoever it was seemed to hesitate, but eventually the door opened. Neal thought it might be Peter who was coming to check in on him, but Neal immediately knew he was wrong.

The room was still cast in shadows, but Neal could recognize that man anywhere. The young Caffrey didn't move, not because he didn't want to be seen, just because he was too tired to move. He pressed his lips together as he watched him close the door behind the man, his hand searching for the light. When he finally found it somewhere near William's deathbed, Neal could see the man had his back turned towards him.

"Hello, Daniel," was all Neal said.

Daniel quickly turned around and Neal never believed he would actually be doing this. That he would actually be looking into Daniel's eyes again.

**AN: Another chapter is done. I know it has been a long time since my last update, but I am just glad I got around to writing this chapter. School has been driving me insane and I barely find time anymore to write chapters. But I love writing this story and I simply refuse to stop writing for it. So don't worry, another chapter will follow and then we'll find out what will happen next. What will happen between Neal and Daniel? Will Peter walk in? Will Elizabeth? **

**Don't worry, I will answer these questions as soon as possible!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**AN: Any and all mistakes are completely my own.**

**Read & Review, please :)**

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 10**

Neal wanted to get up, but he could hardly feel his legs anymore. Looking into Daniel's eyes, he tried to remember when the last time had been when he had been looking into his eyes. Was it the day Daniel had touched him? Had it been the day he had packed his bag and left? Neal truly couldn't remember anymore and he wasn't sure if he wanted to.

"You scared me," Daniel said softly. It was apparent that he was clueless to what else he could say.  
Neal pushed himself away from the wall, standing up and taking a step closer to Daniel. He had been used to the dark and now the light seemed too bright almost. Everything seemed too bright.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice harsh. He was suddenly reminded how thirsty he was. It didn't matter, though.

"I heard what happened," Daniel answered, his gaze shifting towards William, "I just wanted to pay my last respect."

"Why?" Neal walked around Daniel in a wide bow before reaching his father's bedside. It was strange, but being in the same room with Daniel somehow wasn't the nightmare Neal had thought it would be. Of course, the last few times he had imagined himself meeting with Daniel again, he had only been young and it had involved quiet some violence. But here they stood, looking at each other.

Neal wished he could feel something, anything, but his mind seemed awfully empty. Why didn't he feel anger? Or hate? Surely he should feel disgust towards Daniel. He was the man, after all, who had made Neal into the man he was now.

"Why?" Daniel repeated. He didn't seem to understand what Neal expected to hear of him.

"Yes, why?" Neal looked down at his father. "He betrayed you, didn't he? He testified against you in court so why would you want to pay him a last respect?"

Neal could see Daniel swallow heavily, he could see how he struggled to find his answer.

"He was my friend," Daniel sighed, "no matter what he did, no matter what I did, he was still my friend."

"He asked you to stay away," Neal said, still not looking up. "He did ask you, right?"

A sudden fear crawled up Neal's back and arms. He didn't know his father well, but he knew he had certain weaknesses. Daniel was one of those. Had he truly asked Daniel to stay away? To leave them alone? What if William had lied?

"He did," Daniel quickly answered, "you were the most important man in his life and he didn't want to screw anything up, not now that you two were talking again."

Neal slowly gazed up until he met Daniel's eyes. "Did you ever think what would have happened if you never entered our lives?"

Daniel remained silent.

"I did, you see," Neal was surprised to hear coldness in his own voice, "I was only just a kid, but I always tried to picture how my life would have been if William never met you. It would have been quiet different."

"I'm sorry," Daniel whispered.

"You're sorry?" Neal's voice was high and filled with pain. "For what exactly?"

Daniel frowned, not understanding what Neal was trying to say. He pressed his lips together, however, not saying anything.

"For having taught me all the tricks to become a good con artist?" Neal balled his hands into fists, feeling pure anger rise up in his throat. He should try and ignore it, he should try to remain calm, but he welcomed the anger. He finally felt something else than misery. "For having used me? Abused me?"

Daniel still didn't say anything.

"For having ruined my relationship with me father?" Neal took a step back from his father's deathbed, away from Daniel.

"Yes," Daniel said, his voice hard and surprisingly loud. "I'm sorry for all that!"

"Oh, well..." Neal grimaced, "if you're sorry... Why didn't you say so?"

"Neal-"

"No," Neal didn't even allow Daniel to say anything else. Whatever Daniel wanted, he would not get it. "I want you gone."

Daniel slowly nodded. "I just wanted you to know," he said, "that everything that I did, it was wrong. I was wrong and I am sorry. I have turned my life around, though, I really have."

"I don't care," Neal almost hissed, "I will never forgive you."

Daniel took three steps forward and Neal instantly backed away. He could only take one step, however, as he already reached the wall of the room. All that Daniel needed to do was take another two steps and he would be standing before Neal, blocking his exit. Was that what would happen? Was Daniel going to threaten him or something? The anger got slowly replaced by fear and Neal cursed himself. Why couldn't he just feel strong?

"Please, go," Neal said, trying to sound calm. His voice trembled as he spoke, however, and all that Neal could do was hope Daniel hadn't heard it. If there was one person he didn't want to know how he truly felt, it was Daniel.

"I want you to go," Neal said, but he could see Daniel wasn't making any movement to leaving.

"Please."

"I just want you to know this," Daniel said, "I told William this and I want you to know the same."

"I won't forgive you," Neal said, his voice low, "I won't."

"What is going on?" a new voice suddenly asked.

Neal hadn't even heard anyone coming in, but he had never been so happy to see Peter and Elizabeth standing in the room with him. They looked worried, their gazes shifting between the young con artist and the unknown man.

"Neal, are you okay?" El asked.

Neal swallowed heavily, looking back to Daniel, seeing how he pressing his lips together. Slowly, the elder man turned around, showing his face to Peter and Elizabeth. El of course didn't recognize him, but Peter's eyes grew wide, his gaze immediately locking with Neal's again.

"You must be Daniel Hill," Peter simply said. There was slight tremor in his voice, but it could be mistaken for anything. Fear, anger, disgust. Neal couldn't place it, but he did see the shock in El's eyes. She took her husband's hand in her own and took a step closer to him.

"He was just leaving," Neal said, his back still against the wall, Daniel standing only two steps away from him.

Daniel turned around and looked at Neal again, his gaze suddenly sad. It only made Neal feel more angry. What gave Daniel the right to feel sad?

"Your father was proud of you," Daniel said, his voice soft, "I could tell."

"Don't," Neal whispered, "don't speak of my father, you don't have the right."

"Don't pretend he's a saint suddenly," Daniel said, his voice harder again.

"He isn't," Neal said, looking towards Peter. Knowing that he was there, that he would make sure nothing would happen to him, gave him the courage to speak up again. "But he's still my father and he came through for me."

"Right," Daniel nodded, rolling his eyes, "because he testified after years."  
"You're a bastard," Neal hissed, "you just pretend you're a nice man, but I know who you really are."

"I think it is best if you leave now," Peter spoke. He could see how this situation was slowly getting out of hand.

Daniel turned around, his back towards Neal now, his eyes locked with Peter's. "William told me about you," he spoke, "he said you're the one that helped Neal turn his life around."

Peter didn't say anything. He patiently waited to see what Daniel would do next, if he would leave or cause more trouble.

"At least he helped me," Neal was the one that spoke. Daniel turned around again, his lips pressed together. "You taught me how to make forgeries, how to become a better liar. You used me."

"I trained you," Daniel said loudly. He didn't seem to be able to understand what Neal was telling him. "I taught you everything I know and you have to admit that you've become a great con artist." He turned to look at Peter. "Don't you agree, Agent Burke?"

Peter didn't say anything, but he could feel the urge to arrest this man was growing stronger. Perhaps he should just arrest him. At least then he would be causing any more trouble.

"God," Neal exhaled, "you're afraid."

Daniel frowned, not understanding what Neal was talking about.

"I understand that now," Neal continued speaking, "you're afraid to admit it, to admit what you've done to me."

"I helped you," Daniel said, his voice hard and low. His hands were balled into fists as anger rose in his chest. Neal could see how his skin was growing more pale with every second now.

"Sure," Neal agreed. Daniel did help him. Hadn't it been for this man, Neal didn't know what he would have in his life, but he knew what he wouldn't have. No Kate or Mozzie, no Peter or El and even without Daniel, Neal wouldn't have had his father. "You helped me," he continued speaking, "in a few ways. There was a time I adored you, you know," this was something he hadn't told anyone, "there was a time that I wished you were my father. William ignored me, he barely looked at me, but you...you were there for me."

He let his hands slip back in the pockets of his trousers. He simply didn't want anyone to see them shake. "You talked to me and you listened. You taught me things that I considered cool back then, things no one else knew my age. But it was all a lie, because you never cared me for at all."

"I did care for you," Daniel sighed, almost sounding defeated, "I still do."

"Then admit it," Neal said, hearing a pleading tone in his voice. Why couldn't he for once sound strong? "Admit what you did to me."

Daniel pressed his lips together, all color having completely disappeared from his face now.

"I hurt you," he swallowed heavily, "I used you, thought that I could control you."

Neal looked straight into Daniel's eyes, not believing that he was actually capable of doing so.

"I abused you," Daniel sighed, having trouble admitting this, "and I am sorry for having done so."

Neal nodded, feeling a strange feeling rise in his chest. Anger, simply anger and he allowed it. Hand left his pocket, his arm punching forward, hitting Daniel on his right jaw. The older man stumbled back, grabbing the edge of William's deathbed to balance himself again. His hand flew upwards, covering his soar skin and his gaze locked with Neal's.

"Leave," Neal said through clenched teeth. "Now."

Daniel hesitated for a moment, but he turned around then, striding past Peter and El who had her mouth covered with her hand with shock. She had never seen Neal use any violence and this was a moment she hadn't been prepared for.

"Are you okay?" Peter asked. He was still holding his wife's hand and Neal felt sorry that she had to witness this. He didn't say anything, he simply didn't know what to say or even how his voice would sound.

"Oh, Neal," El said. She released Peter's hand and stepped forward until she stood before the young con artist. Her small hand rested on his cheek and she threw him a faint smile.

"Throwing punches hurts," Neal spoke softly. He gazed down at his hand, seeing the redness of his skin, his knuckles already becoming slight blue. He had hit Daniel hard and Neal didn't care.

"We should have a doctor look at this," El said. She took Neal's sore hand into her own and examined it. "Lucky for you," she said, "we are in a hospital."

Neal didn't say anything.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Peter asked. He came to stand behind his wife and looked at Neal with nothing but concern in his gaze.

"What do you want me to say?" Neal asked. "That I'm not? That I really feel angry and disappointed and...filthy?"

No one said anything.

"Because that is the truth," Neal spoke, feeling his eyes sting as tears tried to invade them. He refused to let them run freely, however, he simply refused. He appeared to be weak enough and he didn't want Peter or El to know he felt worthless. "I tried to feel something after William died," his gaze fell upon his father, "but not this, I don't want this."

"It's better than feeling nothing at all," Peter said.

"It's not," Neal said, "you don't know what I feel right now, and trust me, you don't want to know. I'm fine." He lied and all that Neal could do was hope Peter or Elizabeth wouldn't ask anything more about this matter. "Can we just go to that doctor and get this over with?"

"This is not the right way to deal with this, Neal," El spoke. She let go off his hand, but kept on looking into his eyes. "You're allowed to feel anger and grief and-"

"I get it," Neal interrupted her, his voice hard, "you're both the expert on this matter, having gone through this yourself." The sarcasm dripped from his tongue and Neal knew his words were hurtful, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He had troubles enough, he couldn't worry about someone else's feelings now too. "Let's just go," he said harshly. Walking around Peter and El, he left his father room, not even looking back. What was the point anyway? William was dead and Daniel was gone.

There was no reason to feel bad about that, there was no reason to feel anything. Neal swallowed heavily, forgetting all that was going through his mind right now. All that he needed to do, was get William's personal things and get away from this hospital and away from his troubles.

**AN: I know a lot of you hoped it would be Peter who would throw a punch, but I just went along with the story and it ended up having Neal giving the punch. It would be OOC, but in this situation, I feel like Neal isn't himself anymore. He needs Peter more than ever and yet, he pushes him away, like he is pushing his emotions away. How will that end?**

**Read on and find out soon because the next chapter will be posted somewhere next week.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the White Collar characters.**

**AN: Any and all mistakes are completely my own.**

**Read & Review, please :)**

**Secrets of the Past**

**Chapter 11**

Peter gently knocked on the door of Neal's apartment. He didn't even know if the young Caffrey was home. Then again, it was June who had called him to tell him Neal hadn't left his apartment in days.

There was no answer and Peter sighed. He truly had hoped Neal would invite him in, but perhaps that was a little too much to hope for. Pushing open the door, Peter slowly stepped inside. He let his gaze slide over everything inside. For a moment, he had expected everything to be a mess, but it was very much the opposite.

Everything was clean, almost too clean.

"Neal?" Peter walked towards the table where a stack of old newspapers lay. "It's Peter."

Neal came in from the balcony. He was still wearing his bathrobe even though it was already late in the afternoon. Peter had wanted to stop by earlier, but his work hadn't allowed it.

"You look," Peter examined every detail of his friend, "well."

There truly was no other word for it. Neal was cleanly shaven and his hair was still damp from a shower presumably. A smile played around his lips and his eyes flickered.

"Thank you," Neal chuckled, "you look good, too."

Peter couldn't help but shrug. He looked like his usual self and it was no secret that Neal didn't much like his style of dressing. Rubbing his hand over his cheek, he even noticed that he desperately needed a shave. Why was it that the man who had just lost his father looked better than him?

Forgetting those thoughts, Peter focused on the true reason why he was here. "June called me," he said, "she is worried about you."

Neal smiled. "She's such a lovely woman." He walked towards the table and let himself drop down on a chair. Pulling the newspaper that lay on top of the pile, he looked up to meet Peter's eyes. "There is not reason to worry about me, though."

If Peter hadn't known Neal at all, he would have actually believed him. Of course, this was a con man and lying was his job. Peter pulled a chair from underneath the table and sat down as well.

"You don't have to lie to me, Neal," Peter said, watching how Neal was reading an article. Or at least he was pretending to read it.

Neal let the newspaper down just a little so that he could look at Peter. "Truly, I'm alright."

"So no hard feelings about William?" Peter asked, "about Daniel?"

Neal lifted the newspaper again, pulling himself away from the FBI agent's gaze. "Nope, not at all."

"This isn't healthy," Peter sighed, leaning forward as his elbows rested on the table, "denying-"

"I'm not denying anything," Neal said from behind his paper.

Peter slammed his hand down on the table. He was surprised himself that he had done so, but Neal appeared even more surprised. His newspaper dropped out of his hands and his eyes were filled with shock.

"I'm sorry," Peter apologized, "I shouldn't have done that."

Neal only swallowed heavily. He had never seen the FBI agent like this before and it was clear that he didn't know how to handle him like this.

"This is just not the way to handle things, Neal," Peter was surprised to hear his own voice this soft, "you're denying everything that has happened, everything that you feel and it is not healthy."

"Since when do you talk about emotions?" Neal asked, trying to keep the mood light.

"Since El said I had to," Peter shrugged, a smirk playing around the corners of his lips. "She is right, though," he turned serious again, looking into Neal's eyes, "you have to talk about this."

"There is nothing to talk about," Neal said, serious as well, "my father's dead and Daniel is gone. It's all over, Peter, and I don't want to dwell on this for too long."

"Because you might actually feel something?"

Neal bended forward, picking up the fallen newspaper from the floor and placing it back onto the pile. He sighed deeply, not looking at Peter. "Yes," he admitted, "because what is the point? Will it change anything?"

"No," Peter said, "but you might actually start feeling better after a while."

"Who says I don't feel good right now?" Neal asked. He leaned back into his chair and look at Peter again. Folding his hands into his lap, Neal took in a deep breath.

Peter couldn't help but think how fragile and small the young con artist must feel right now. For one, Neal wasn't used to talking about his emotions and certainly not with an FBI agent. "What do you feel right now?" he asked.

Neal frowned, not understanding what this was going to achieve.

"Well?" Peter asked.

"I..." Neal thought deeply about the question, "empty."

"Empty?" Peter had expected a lot of answers, but this wasn't one of them. How was he supposed to understand what 'empty' meant?

"Like nothings means anything anymore," Neal explained, his voice soft, "_I_ mean nothing anymore because now I _know_."

"Why would you think such a thing?" Peter truly was trying to understand, but it was very difficult.

"Who I am, what I do, or rather _did_," Neal bit his lip, "it wasn't me. Daniel taught me everything, he wanted me to be this person because it was who _he_ once was. Who am I then? Who am I truly hadn't it been for Daniel?"

Peter closed his eyes for a second. "I don't know," he admitted.

"I might have had a family," Neal sighed, "a wife and children. I might have studied at a university and gotten an actual degree and not one that I faked. I could have had a big house and friends that don't have a criminal record."

"Is that what you want?" Peter asked.

Neal cast his gaze down, not being able to look into Peter's eyes. "That's just it," Neal's voice shook, "I don't know what I want. And what I do want, is only so because it's what Daniel wanted."

"That's not true," Peter quickly said.

"I want to forge paintings," Neal looked up, his gaze sad and angry at the same time, "I want to steal ancient artifacts that are locked in vaults and are highly risky to get because that is what thrills me. I want to steal expensive coins and sell them to the highest bidder because that is the life that I know."

Peter was lost for words. He only wished El was here because she would have known what to say to this. Even Mozzie might have had a decent answer. Peter could only awkwardly gaze at the young con man.

"It's like a drug, you know," Neal told him, "forging things, I mean. Once you pulled off a decent heist, you want to do another one because that is what gets your adrenaline up, because that's the only way that you feel thrilled about something." He sighed deeply. "I feel as if Daniel got me addicted to something, but I don't want to withdraw from it."

Peter could only nod as he tried to wrap his head around this.

"I want to be mad," Neal said, looking into Peter's eyes, "I want to be furious and yell and kick and scream! I'm not, though. I feel...calm. Sad too, because I did just lose my father."

"You're not mad at Daniel?" Peter needed to hear Neal say those actual words.

"I've spent my whole life being mad at him," Neal explained, "I dreamed about getting back at him for hurting me, for having put me through all this. It doesn't matter anymore, though, because there is no point to it."

There was a short silence.

"I'll only feel miserable," Neal stood up from his chair, "I don't want that."

Peter followed Neal's example and stood up as well. "I'm truly sorry for your loss," he said, "you had just gotten your father back."

"I'm sorry, too," Neal said, "and it's strange knowing that I won't see him again." he ran his fingers through his hair. "I do feel sad," he admitted, "I do wish he was still alive, but I don't feel anger or rage towards Daniel."

Peter nodded his head. There was truly nothing else he could say or do. It seemed Neal was telling him the truth. Could it truly be that he was handling it this well?

"I need time," Neal continued talking, "like all who have lost a parent."

"You can come back when you're ready," Peter said, "but promise me that you'll take your time."

A soft smile played around the lips of the young con artist's lips. "I will," he said, "thank you for coming."

"You have my number," Peter said, "you can call me any time."

"I know," Neal's smile had grown wider.

Peter sighed with relief. It seemed his friend would truly be okay. Perhaps he was stronger than he originally appeared. Looking at Neal, Peter couldn't help but feel proud. Considering everything that had happened, the young Caffrey was still standing.

"You sure you're gonna be okay?" He simply needed to ask him this.

Neal nodded. "In time," he said, "yes."

Peter smiled. "Then I'm looking forward to having you back," he spoke sincerely, "it's not quiet the same without you at work."

"Dull?" Neal asked.

Peter chuckled. "Something like that."

-o-o-

The End

-o-o-

**AN: It has ended. It might appear abrupt, but this story feels done to me. I have always wanted to focus on the events that took place in the previous chapters (the arrival of William, the truth about Daniel, William's death,...) and not on the aftermath. I just don't feel like I have what it takes to write down the emotions that belong to Neal. I imagine it is difficult and he still has a long road ahead of fully recovering, but he'll get there eventually.**

**I wanted to end on a light note, however, and so this chapter is solely between Neal and Peter. I know it started out heavy, but the end was softer. I hope you guys enjoyed this story and I truly hope that one day, I come up with a new one.**

**Thanks for having stuck with this one!**


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